Butterfly Effect - ressourcesfeministes

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128 Ambitions Woollomooloo, the harbour, a hotel with green tiles half way up the wall and a long bar inside ringed by ten a.m. drinkers. The sun in winter is warm in Sydney and I see you walking through the Domain beside me. You are sixteen, your friend, Val, is fourteen. You are training to be commercial artists at East Sydney Tech. You've told me the story many times, but this time I feel your young presence beside me. You sit at a long wooden bench, lettering in your fine copperplate hand. You and Val share a joke or some kind of mischief. You are the hit of parties and any chance to dress up, play dramatics, finds you there in the midst of it.
129 But then the war came. You had no time to be the artist you wanted to be. You join the army, move to South Australia and ride a horse all day. You told us that we could not claim to be horse-women until we'd fallen two hundred and sixty-nine times. In the army, you also learn to type, to be an efficient secretary. But the years muddle for me, and the next thread I can find takes you back to Melbourne. You told me you were offered the position as Secretary for the Department of Agriculture with its total of three staff. I wonder at the life you'd have lived in another time. Artist, economist, politician. Instead you fell for the farmer in his shining Tiger Moth.
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Susan Hawthorne is a poet, novelist
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the Butterfly Effect Susan Hawthorn
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Contents note to sappho vii The But
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Note to Sappho It’s been a long t
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3 Strange tractors It’s an ancien
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5 We stand in a place where flowers
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7 not missing a beat. His history i
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Unstopped Mouths
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11 Unstopped Mouths 1 we meet in th
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13 simplified a single twist of hai
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15 we line the shelves of our homes
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17 summer with fire in the nostrils
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19 Empurpled 1 physicists speak of
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21 to the moon 5 with desire satisf
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23 we play pool billiards and snook
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25 harpies sirens birds of prey les
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27 In the Prisons we are known as c
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29 it’s still happening just two
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31 when the moon rises full in Scor
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33 my friend Daisy killed her husba
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35 some live in prisons without wal
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37 Rose Garden those who have no me
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39 making rosettes embroidering pil
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41 we fall upon one another kissing
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43 Firenze in honour of Jacqui Stoc
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45 porticos are chosen for secret m
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47 the cupola floats like a giant b
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49 we share our home with dogs cats
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51 Death for Maureen O’Connor it
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53 we stand in the cold gathering s
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55 Gumboots and Goblin Fruit we pul
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57 amazons Margaret Bhadravati Boud
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59 with the assistance of harnesses
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61 sipping at lemons 22 relishing t
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63 Amphibious Lips we tuck hibiscus
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65 we take our boats casting off 11
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67 some days we float above corals
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69 we build fires on the beach cook
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71 The Land for Renate and River I
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73 known to drive nine hundred kilo
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75 we are not the only lesbians in
Page 87 and 88: 77 Angel Tongues Hail Mary Mother o
Page 89 and 90: 79 mani padme aum clouds wrap thems
Page 91 and 92: 81 pustules vile bodies unclean bod
Page 93 and 94: 83 Tragedia they say it is a traged
Page 95 and 96: 85 social mores shift and run their
Page 97 and 98: 87 HD 17 even though their words bu
Page 99 and 100: 89 there are cities in our minds 21
Page 101 and 102: 91 those who fear us have many name
Page 103 and 104: 93 sleepless eyes reviled for our a
Page 105 and 106: 95 Love is an Uprising we write wri
Page 107 and 108: 97 we imagine a language invented b
Page 109 and 110: 99 some of us are saints 19 or Sybi
Page 111 and 112: 101 Lavender Hour in the lavender h
Page 113 and 114: 103 in the lavender hour extraterre
Page 115 and 116: 105 the lavender hour is not marked
Page 117 and 118: 107 Carnivale 1 we sing sliding alo
Page 119 and 120: 109 the Queen of Hearts the Queen o
Page 121: 111 join the throng beating out the
Page 125: 115 Music for lesbian mouths oooooo
Page 129 and 130: 119 Almanac of the Dead 1 for Primr
Page 131 and 132: 121 ix I go to breakfast and mentio
Page 133 and 134: 123 The drive to LA is too long. I
Page 135 and 136: 125 Graveside Meditation We, the mo
Page 137: 127 In my mind then comes a phrase
Page 141 and 142: 131 You told me later that you spen
Page 143 and 144: 133 As the cold wraps itself around
Page 145 and 146: 135 Memory is trampled by daily lif
Page 147 and 148: 137 The Dead i The dead press their
Page 149 and 150: 139 I return to my daughters in the
Page 151: India Sutra
Page 154 and 155: 144 modern day swan-maidens. Here a
Page 156 and 157: 146 the coffin missing but still th
Page 158 and 159: 148 unlike the others, she talks tu
Page 160 and 161: 150 o A buzz of black and yellow pa
Page 162 and 163: 152 Mementos for Sindhu, she says,
Page 164 and 165: 154 but not the silence between us.
Page 166 and 167: 156 Is this what freedom amounts to
Page 168 and 169: 158 they say, but not back. The ris
Page 170 and 171: 160 white on ochre a drummer and da
Page 172 and 173: 162 o The woman holds out her hands
Page 174 and 175: 164 o This headache is like a strin
Page 176 and 177: 166 25 Jan We talk of place, of mig
Page 178 and 179: 168 Happiness is a dry fart, says t
Page 180 and 181: 170 into the couch. It’s Scintl w
Page 182 and 183: 172 The buffalo is in camouflage, w
Page 184 and 185: 174 o In Goa, tourists tear along o
Page 186 and 187: 176 just then, I receive one from h
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178 entwined double snakes, spirals
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180 Poorvashada and Uttarshada— f
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182 Mourning my father, the stillne
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184 of battles between the freedoms
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186 4 Feb In this one speeding car,
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188 I can haggle too, but not here.
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190 broad swathe is no highway for
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192 spread it out in the paddock an
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194 Second Sutra 26 May 2004, Delhi
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196 half contained. Pot plants flow
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198 o The women of Jagori share lun
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200 29 May We attend a reading in A
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202 emerge from behind bushes, thei
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204 31 May Old Agra is shimmering i
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206 Knocked sideways by this rush o
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208 third Sutra 28 Dec 2004, Bingil
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Fragilities
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214 Gravity’s rainbow could not f
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216 Greek for Suzanne Bellamy in ho
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218 It helped her unravel the birds
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220 Oil and water I said, It’s no
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222 The Day of My Crucifixion for a
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224 perform as if in a wake ghostli
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Eye of a Needle 226 Mid-twentieth c
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228 o 1980s In the camp I live unde
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230 Once long ago they said I was a
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232 women falling, falling … We a
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235 Bibliography Abbot, Sidney and
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237 —. 1989. Medieval Woman’s M
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239 —. 1990. Lecture, UCLA, May 5
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241 Jay, Karla. 1999. Tales of the
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243 Radicalesbians. 1970. “The Wo
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245 Undset, Sigrid. 1951/1980. Kris
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247 Acknowledgements Some of the po
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