Butterfly Effect - ressourcesfeministes

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76 1 lover to me. Sandy Jeffs in Poems from the Madhouse (2000) writes of a visitation from Mary: “I know you as intimately as a long-time lover.” p.19. 2 passion. The English word “passion” comes from the Greek verb for suffering. Passion in the Biblical sense has a stronger association with suffering, than to its usual colloquial association with love. 3 Timothy. Many nuns take on the names of saints, male or female, and it sometimes results in such incongruities as are listed here. It’s not unusual to encounter lesbians with names such as Bobby, Billy or DJ. 4 cunning. The word “cunning” is related to the Scots ken, to know. This is the same root from which the word “cunt” derives. There is a wonderful idiosyncratic word “cunctipotent” which means to be powerful. The power of cuncti- has been read as different from the power of omni- by some writers including Jane Caputi 2004. “Cuntspeak: Words from the heart of darkness.” pp. 362-385. I use the word cunctipotence in my novel, The Falling Woman, 1992. p. 269. Although not etymologically defensible, cuntipotent has been taken to mean powerful in a cuntish sort of way, in other words a woman with power. The derogation which has occurred with the four letter use of the word “cunt” is perhaps an indicator of the level of woman hatred. See Beryl Fletcher. 2002. The Word Burners, p. 219-30. 5 hands. When sexual contact is forbidden any part of the body can become deeply eroticised. Touching hand-to-hand can be sexually charged. 6 prayer wheels. Prayer wheels are used by Buddhist nuns throughout the Himalayas. The Himalayas have a long history of association with women, indicated in part by the original name of the highest mountain in the world, Chomo-Lung Ma, which means Goddess Mother of the Universe.
77 Angel Tongues Hail Mary Mother of God Queen of Heaven Star of the Sea you are a lover to me 1 our bodies shiver in the cold each shiver a sacrament proof of purity our passion 2 is a cross we bear some seek solace in particular friendships Sister Timothy 3 Sister Ignatia Sister Mathias Sister Sebastian grant this day we fall into no sin we are daughters of Babylon some of us have been whores we have sinned my left hand is cunning 4 my tongue more so have mercy upon us miserable sinners at night in our single beds lying on tight starched sheets we have sex we are catholic girls our hands reach across to the next bed we touch our fingers sing with desire fingers follow fingers down to the webbing across the palm knuckles nails in the dark we have sex with our hands 5 our senses escaping God’s custody we pray the rosary slipping through our fingers our fingers are nimble and quick our tongues flick through the prayers collects meditations psalms chants some of us old women knead ivory beads and spin prayer wheels 6 in mountains which reach almost to heaven we intone om
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Susan Hawthorne is a poet, novelist
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the Butterfly Effect Susan Hawthorn
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Contents note to sappho vii The But
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Note to Sappho It’s been a long t
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3 Strange tractors It’s an ancien
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5 We stand in a place where flowers
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7 not missing a beat. His history i
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Unstopped Mouths
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11 Unstopped Mouths 1 we meet in th
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13 simplified a single twist of hai
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15 we line the shelves of our homes
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17 summer with fire in the nostrils
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19 Empurpled 1 physicists speak of
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21 to the moon 5 with desire satisf
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23 we play pool billiards and snook
Page 35 and 36: 25 harpies sirens birds of prey les
Page 37 and 38: 27 In the Prisons we are known as c
Page 39 and 40: 29 it’s still happening just two
Page 41 and 42: 31 when the moon rises full in Scor
Page 43 and 44: 33 my friend Daisy killed her husba
Page 45 and 46: 35 some live in prisons without wal
Page 47 and 48: 37 Rose Garden those who have no me
Page 49 and 50: 39 making rosettes embroidering pil
Page 51 and 52: 41 we fall upon one another kissing
Page 53 and 54: 43 Firenze in honour of Jacqui Stoc
Page 55 and 56: 45 porticos are chosen for secret m
Page 57 and 58: 47 the cupola floats like a giant b
Page 59 and 60: 49 we share our home with dogs cats
Page 61 and 62: 51 Death for Maureen O’Connor it
Page 63 and 64: 53 we stand in the cold gathering s
Page 65 and 66: 55 Gumboots and Goblin Fruit we pul
Page 67 and 68: 57 amazons Margaret Bhadravati Boud
Page 69 and 70: 59 with the assistance of harnesses
Page 71 and 72: 61 sipping at lemons 22 relishing t
Page 73 and 74: 63 Amphibious Lips we tuck hibiscus
Page 75 and 76: 65 we take our boats casting off 11
Page 77 and 78: 67 some days we float above corals
Page 79 and 80: 69 we build fires on the beach cook
Page 81 and 82: 71 The Land for Renate and River I
Page 83 and 84: 73 known to drive nine hundred kilo
Page 85: 75 we are not the only lesbians in
Page 89 and 90: 79 mani padme aum clouds wrap thems
Page 91 and 92: 81 pustules vile bodies unclean bod
Page 93 and 94: 83 Tragedia they say it is a traged
Page 95 and 96: 85 social mores shift and run their
Page 97 and 98: 87 HD 17 even though their words bu
Page 99 and 100: 89 there are cities in our minds 21
Page 101 and 102: 91 those who fear us have many name
Page 103 and 104: 93 sleepless eyes reviled for our a
Page 105 and 106: 95 Love is an Uprising we write wri
Page 107 and 108: 97 we imagine a language invented b
Page 109 and 110: 99 some of us are saints 19 or Sybi
Page 111 and 112: 101 Lavender Hour in the lavender h
Page 113 and 114: 103 in the lavender hour extraterre
Page 115 and 116: 105 the lavender hour is not marked
Page 117 and 118: 107 Carnivale 1 we sing sliding alo
Page 119 and 120: 109 the Queen of Hearts the Queen o
Page 121: 111 join the throng beating out the
Page 125: 115 Music for lesbian mouths oooooo
Page 129 and 130: 119 Almanac of the Dead 1 for Primr
Page 131 and 132: 121 ix I go to breakfast and mentio
Page 133 and 134: 123 The drive to LA is too long. I
Page 135 and 136: 125 Graveside Meditation We, the mo
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127 In my mind then comes a phrase
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129 But then the war came. You had
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131 You told me later that you spen
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133 As the cold wraps itself around
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135 Memory is trampled by daily lif
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137 The Dead i The dead press their
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139 I return to my daughters in the
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India Sutra
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144 modern day swan-maidens. Here a
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146 the coffin missing but still th
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148 unlike the others, she talks tu
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150 o A buzz of black and yellow pa
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152 Mementos for Sindhu, she says,
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154 but not the silence between us.
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156 Is this what freedom amounts to
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158 they say, but not back. The ris
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160 white on ochre a drummer and da
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162 o The woman holds out her hands
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164 o This headache is like a strin
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166 25 Jan We talk of place, of mig
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168 Happiness is a dry fart, says t
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170 into the couch. It’s Scintl w
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172 The buffalo is in camouflage, w
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174 o In Goa, tourists tear along o
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176 just then, I receive one from h
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178 entwined double snakes, spirals
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180 Poorvashada and Uttarshada— f
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182 Mourning my father, the stillne
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184 of battles between the freedoms
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186 4 Feb In this one speeding car,
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188 I can haggle too, but not here.
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190 broad swathe is no highway for
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192 spread it out in the paddock an
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194 Second Sutra 26 May 2004, Delhi
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196 half contained. Pot plants flow
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198 o The women of Jagori share lun
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200 29 May We attend a reading in A
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202 emerge from behind bushes, thei
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204 31 May Old Agra is shimmering i
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206 Knocked sideways by this rush o
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208 third Sutra 28 Dec 2004, Bingil
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Fragilities
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214 Gravity’s rainbow could not f
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216 Greek for Suzanne Bellamy in ho
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218 It helped her unravel the birds
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220 Oil and water I said, It’s no
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222 The Day of My Crucifixion for a
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224 perform as if in a wake ghostli
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Eye of a Needle 226 Mid-twentieth c
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228 o 1980s In the camp I live unde
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230 Once long ago they said I was a
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232 women falling, falling … We a
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235 Bibliography Abbot, Sidney and
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237 —. 1989. Medieval Woman’s M
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239 —. 1990. Lecture, UCLA, May 5
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241 Jay, Karla. 1999. Tales of the
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243 Radicalesbians. 1970. “The Wo
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245 Undset, Sigrid. 1951/1980. Kris
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247 Acknowledgements Some of the po
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