The Decay of the Angel - Yukio Mishima

confessing that what he looked for in Tōru was
ugliness.
To put Honda at his ease and offer occasion for
mild reproof, Tōru tore off a childish mouthful of toast,
spreading crumbs liberally on his knee. Honda took
no notice.
It would not do to reprove Tōru for the element of
meanness in this first mark of trust he had
vouchsafed. On the other hand Honda’s old sense of
ethics demanded that he inform Tōru of the
impropriety of turning informant, whatever the reason;
and so something rather petty was by way of coming
into this happy breakfast scene.
Their hands bumped awkwardly as they both
reached for the sugar bowl.
A sugar bowl bright with betrayal in the morning
sunlight. Feelings of guilt for having reached out
simultaneously. It wounded Honda to think that this
had been the first suggestion of a parental bond.
Tōru was pleased at more than this open confusion.
He could see the hesitation as Honda found himself
unable to preach the obvious lesson: that one must
show more confidence in and respect for a person
whom one has even tentatively called teacher. For the
first time the controversy within Honda and the evil
hidden in his educational policies became clear. Tōru