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The Decay of the Angel - Yukio Mishima

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24<br />

EXCERPTS from Tōru Honda’s diary.<br />

I cannot excuse <strong>the</strong> several mistakes I am making in<br />

<strong>the</strong> matter <strong>of</strong> Momoko. That is because one must<br />

proceed from clarity, and <strong>the</strong> smallest element <strong>of</strong><br />

miscalculation produces fantasy, and fantasy<br />

produces beauty.<br />

I have never been a sufficiently ardent devotee <strong>of</strong><br />

beauty to believe that beauty produces fantasy and<br />

fantasy miscalculation. When I was still new at <strong>the</strong><br />

signal station, I sometimes misidentified a ship.<br />

Especially at night, when it is difficult to calculate <strong>the</strong><br />

distance between mast lights, I would sometimes take<br />

a puny little fishing boat for an international freighter,<br />

and send out a signal asking it to identify itself.<br />

Unaccustomed to such formal treatment, <strong>the</strong> fishing<br />

boat would sometimes flash back <strong>the</strong> name <strong>of</strong> a<br />

movie star. It was not however a thing <strong>of</strong> great beauty.<br />

Momoko’s beauty <strong>of</strong> course meets all <strong>the</strong> objective<br />

standards. Her love is necessary for me, and I must<br />

give her <strong>the</strong> blade with which to cut herself. A paper<br />

knife will not suffice.

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