Complete Idiot's Guide to Conquering Fear and Anxiety

serves two purposes: it maintains her dependency on her husband which, in her mind, assures that he won't leave her and it affords her moments of physical closenessthat they don't often share.To help unlock the demons lurking in the caverns of your unconscious, the psychoanalyst's picklocks consist of free association (saying whatever comes into yourmind), hypnosis, dream and transference interpretations (the feelings for the analyst linked with other relationships, such as love or hatred for a parent). For instance,common falling dreams may symbolize a host of current concerns:1. Falling from grace2. Falling through the cracks3. Falling flat on your face4. Falling in/out of love5. Falling ill6. Falling apart7. Falling short8. Falling behindThe primal terror you experience during the dream is the most basic fear of all: falling kerplunk like Humpty­Dumpty.The following might represent a transference interpretation. A patient says, "I forgot my wife's birthday and she isn't speaking to me." The analyst responds, "Soundslike she's pretty angry at you." The patient yells, "You siding with her? You, who knows that she hasn't slept with me for a month and constantly burns my food?" Theanalyst might then interpret the patient's outburst as relating not to cues coming from the analyst "siding" with the wife, but rather a faulty perception elicited by earlyfeelings of not having felt defended as a child­how when his mother yelled at him for no apparent reason other than her own foul mood, his father would not stick upfor him.As feelings and memories surface in a safe, non­critical and non­punitive environment, you experience catharsis (cleansing of pent­up emotions) and abreaction(resolution of neurotic behavior by reviving forgotten or repressed memories) and these terrors presumably lose their power over you. With the help of your therapist,you work through these conflicts and the phobia, no longer needed, disappears.Triggering a Repressed MemorySometimes, something triggers long­term repression of these feelings. Kara, a dancer, was surprised to discover that when her father, whom she had adored, died, shefelt not grief but hate for him.A few months following his death, Kara was hired to dance in her first Broadway show, her dream. Rather than experiencing joy, she felt increasingly edgy andanxious. What if she couldn't dance up to their standards? What if they fired her? Suddenly, a memoryPage 91