Complete Idiot's Guide to Conquering Fear and Anxiety

Topping the list of social fears is public speaking. It crosses gender lines, social class, race and popularity, as it strikes performers, speakers, and students alike. Nordoes it care how much the public adores you: Barbra Streisand and Carly Simon are among a surprising list of entertainers who temporarily gave up performing foryears because of stage fright.If you are shy, you are more vulnerable to social phobia, and especially so if you possess poor social skills. You may compensate just fine if you have anunderstanding spouse or person with whom to share your life, especially if this person is more out­going. But if not, an otherwise stable person can become sociallyphobic. Norman, a quiet man, was quite content until his wife died of cancer. Feeling awkward about going out and dating, he felt lost and alone and became arecluse.If you are social phobic, there's a good chance you've been this way since adolescence. There's an equally good chance that this is not your only symptom, that youalso have a specific phobia or that you've experienced panic attacks or chronic anxiety. It's important to not blame yourself. You may have been, as we'll see inChapter 4, born fear­prone.High Anxiety: Generalized Anxiety DisorderPage 23"The sky is falling! The sky is falling!" yelled Chicken Little. Today, his unrealistic doomsaying might get him diagnosed as suffering from Generalized AnxietyDisorder (GAD). If you also experience chronic, uncontrolled worry about neutral things and are persistently anxious about all the bad things that "might" happen, youtoo may fall into that category. Perhaps you worry that your child, who's always been healthy, will catch a serious illness from a schoolmate. Or fret that your husband,who is a half­hour late coming home, is pinned under a huge truck.But worrying is only the half of it. When chronically anxious, you live daily in a keyed­up, agitated state and everything gets sped up. Thoughts rush through your head,you feel jumpy and may be unable to sit still, your heart thumps, and your stomach jumps, sending you to the bathroom frequently.True GAD lacks the full punch of a panic attack. But relentless tension, which wearies you emotionally and physically and affects your overall health, is also no joyride. If you experience at least three of the following symptoms more days than not, and have been like this for six months or more, you can be clinically diagnosedwith GAD:Muscle tensionFidgeting and restlessnessIrritability and perhaps angry outbursts