Complete Idiot's Guide to Conquering Fear and Anxiety

Page 66Roots of FearsWhere do fears come from? Some, as you recall, are innate, like fear of falling, of loud noises, of the dark and of strangers. Other fears we learn.Classical ConditioningWhen eight­month­old Molly sees her doctor, she starts to cry. She has become conditioned to associate the sight of her doctor with the pain of getting an injection. Infact, she starts to cry when she sees any man in a white shirt or beard, like her doctor. Children learn a lot of fears through classical conditioning of a neutral stimulusthedoctor­with an unconditioned response­pain. Often, they generalize these fears to similar persons or situations, as did Molly.In the 1920s, the behaviorist John Watson conducted one of the earliest demonstrations of classical conditioning that showed that emotions such as fear can beconditioned. As an 11­month­old baby known as ''Little Albert," who loved furry animals, was about to grasp a white rat, a loud noise frightened him, and he began tocry. After repeated pairings of the rat with the loud noise, the child whimpered with fear when he saw the rat. The fear also generalized to rabbits, dogs, a Santa Clausmask, and other furry white objects.Operant ConditioningWhen Molly starts to cry, her mother holds her tight and soothes her. This reduces Molly's fear. In a sense, it also rewards Molly for feeling fearful since it gets hermother's attention and nurturance. With her mother's tender love and care, Molly will likely outgrow this fear. Nevertheless, parents can unwittingly encourage fears bypositively reinforcing them with attention. For instance, when eight­year­old Yaacov said he didn't feel like going to school, his mother kept him home where hewatched television all day and ate chocolate cookies. The next day he announced to his mother that he'd like to stay home all week!ImitationYour own reactions also lay the groundwork for unwittingly creating fears in your children. If you cower at the sight of thunder, your child picks up that there's areason to be afraid and may imitate your reaction. In fact, parents and children often have similar fears.