Complete Idiot's Guide to Conquering Fear and Anxiety

Page 288Avoid "Sink or Swim"Don't force your child to confront her fear all at once, like by diving into the dreaded swimming pool or petting the barking dog. This "in the face" approach may onlyaggravate the fear and make it worse. Fear­prone children especially need to get used to something gradually or they will feel quickly overwhelmed. To help her feelgreater control and confidence, that she can manage her fears, and trust in your ability to structure her world to reduce danger, break down confrontation of a scarysituation into a series of steps.When developmental psychologist Megan Gunner of the University of Minnesota observed how children reacted to stress by presenting a friendly clown, she foundpace to make all the difference for the initially frightened, inhibited, anxious child. When mothers ignored or denied their child's discomfort and pushed them toward theclown, the child's stress level rose, as measured by the amount of the stress hormone cortisol in their saliva. When mothers accepted their child's caution and calmlyhelped them feel more comfortable, the child's stress response subsided and soon they might approach the clown.Here are some helpful suggestions:DogsHave your child stand at whatever distance from the dog that he feels comfortable, making sure the dog is held or on a leash.Move up to the dog and pet it.