Complete Idiot's Guide to Conquering Fear and Anxiety

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Page 171And they exaggerate the consequences should this bad event occurno one will like you. Later on in this chapter, I'll talk about ways to change these distortedperceptions.Maladaptive CopingIf inborn temperament, childhood experiences and faulty perceptions create social phobia, maladaptive coping strategies, like the following, maintain it:Avoidance: Feeling awkward in a social situation, you avoid it. This prevents you from learning about your faulty perceptions, undermines your selfconfidence andreinforces your phobia.Obsessing: You mull over in your mind everything you did and said to embarrass yourself and how others reacted to you. This increases your anxiety and thelikelihood of the situation repeating itself and you expect the worst case scenario.SelfPreoccupation: Worried about your behavior with others, you monitor your actions. Any discomfort or negative sign and you point your finger at yourself: "Hethinks I'm a dodo." or "I am so boring." These thoughts in turn increase your anxiety and selfconsciousness and the likelihood that you will continue to behaveawkwardly.To sum up, the origins of social phobia are:Inborn reactivity to new situations and people, along with sensitivity to disapprovalA nonsupportive and critical early environmentMisperception of threats as exaggeratedMaladaptive coping styles, such as worry, avoidance and selfpreoccupation that maintains the phobiaSocial Phobia SelfQuizBy now you have a good idea as to whether or not you are socially phobic. If so, your first step in recovery is to identify the situations in which this phobia occurs.Start by taking this selfquiz and rating your anxietyinducing situations from 15 (mild discomfort, moderate discomfort, major discomfort, acute discomfort, panic). Ahigh score suggests a corresponding high degree of social phobia.
Page 172From Tiptoeing to Tap DancingNow that you have identified the situations that discombobulate you, how do you get undiscombobulated? First, have patienceyears of social discomfort, faultythinking, and maladaptive behavior can't be torn down overnight, but need to be chipped away gradually. You might need therapy in addition to selfhelp.Nevertheless, you can do much on your own to calm your body, quiet your mind, learn to assert yourself, and polish up your social skills, thereby helping you toreduce your anxiety to a more tolerable level.
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THE COMPLETE IDIOT'S REFERENCE CARD
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Page iConquering Fear and Anxietyby
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Page ivCONTENTS AT A GLANCEPart 1:
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Page viAGlossaryBFurther Reading an
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Page viiiLess Well Known Anxiety an
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Page x8The Doctor Is In101Take a Pi
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Page xiiRoots of People Allergy 168
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Page xivKnead Away Tension 237Don't
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Page xvi21After It All Comes Crashi
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Page xviiiThe Complete Idiot's Guid
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Page xxAcknowledgmentsHeartfelt tha
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Page 1PART 1THE HEART OF YOUR FEARS
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off the plane at a stop halfway to
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as a predator or a fire, but appear
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Page 8Drive miles out of your way t
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power. You may not know your enemy'
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Page 12Responses:Flee from danger b
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scurrying across the floor, the chi
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Dahlia arranges all of her packaged
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Page 18How Long Do They Last?The te
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Page 20Claustrophobia (fear of encl
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Agoraphobia, the most common phobia
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Page 24Sleep difficultiesConcentrat
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Page 26Washing, checking and counti
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Page 29Chapter 3Fear TriggersWhat t
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Hypoglycemia: Are you a junk food j
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Page 33NonPrescription "Drugs":La
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Levinson maintains that 90 percent
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Page 37It's well known that what yo
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Page 39If you're fearprone, littl
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Page 41
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Page 44Fear ListSome Fear Much Fear
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Page 46Renetta, on the other hand,
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Page 48Secure AttachmentSome people
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Page 50Later, more got added to the
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ehavior, and an ongoing hypervigi
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Take the legend of Harry Houdini. F
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Page 57Chapter 5Chasing Away Your C
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Page 59(table continued from previo
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Page 617. Initially, take your chil
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Page 63Sevenyearold Nadia stood
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Page 65HelplessnessThe younger you
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Page 67TVHorror movies and televisi
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Page 69PART 2MAKING IT ALL BETTER"T
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Page 72Deep RelaxationMost people t
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The more stressed you feel, the qui
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A host of other things can trigger
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Page 784. Place the tip of your ton
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need to be developed again. So, hav
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Page 827. Neck: Pull your head way
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During the day, if you feel tension
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If you find that neither repeating
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Page 88Moreover, since our patterns
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youa parent, a spouse, a child. O
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hit her. When she was eight, she wa
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As with psychoanalytic treatment, h
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Paradoxical intention: In this tech
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Page 98Wearing the goggles (or usin
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Page 101Chapter 8The Doctor Is InAn
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Page 103If you look to the experts,
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similar to a hormone called epineph
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Page 107TricyclicsThese are the old
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Page 109Once fully withdrawn from t
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Dina was chronically stressed and h
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Page 113Kava CombiningTo enhance ka
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Page 115Chapter 9And There's More..
Page 136 and 137: Page 117Anxiety and Eating HabitsAr
Page 138 and 139: Page 119Food Allergies Trigger Anxi
Page 140 and 141: Page 121Detoxify Your LifeIf you ar
Page 142 and 143: Page 123In addition to releasing pe
Page 144 and 145: Page 125Lubricate Your System with
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Page 148 and 149: Page 131Chapter 10Escape from Psych
Page 150 and 151: increased as the weeks went by and
Page 152 and 153: Page 135They seek out all night sup
Page 154 and 155: Sensory defensiveness: You get easi
Page 156 and 157: Page 139If you employ the selfhel
Page 158 and 159: Page 1415. Walk (run) into the park
Page 160 and 161: Page 143Free Your Imprisoned Feelin
Page 162 and 163: Page 145If you don't have such a "s
Page 164 and 165: Page 148Fear Is in the AirWhy are s
Page 166 and 167: and do their crossword puzzle or re
Page 168 and 169: Page 152Orientation in space impair
Page 170 and 171: Page 154Mental FlightsOnce you know
Page 172 and 173: Once you get the knack of it, your
Page 174 and 175: Page 158Bring along some relaxing e
Page 176 and 177: Page 161Chapter12Antidote to People
Page 178 and 179: contact is a sports club, where he
Page 180 and 181: feel uncomfortable and stop talking
Page 182 and 183: Page 167(table continued from previ
Page 184 and 185: Page 169by strangers while working
Page 188 and 189: Page 173Cooling DownSince you are n
Page 190 and 191: Page 175''I'm happy that you asked
Page 192 and 193: Come armed with an excuse for your
Page 194 and 195: Page 180Butterflies Big TimeStage f
Page 196 and 197: Page 182Eyes of the Past on YouSir
Page 198 and 199: Page 184SelfPerceptions:How much
Page 200 and 201: Breathing Exercises: Do your deep b
Page 202 and 203: Page 1881. Overgeneralization: You'
Page 204 and 205: Page 190Public speakingFear: I will
Page 206 and 207: Page 192Show TimeWhat should you do
Page 208 and 209: Page 194Doomed Before You StartDo y
Page 210 and 211: The same need for perfection happen
Page 212 and 213: Page 198Talent can, however, overco
Page 214 and 215: Page 200I'll Never Beat This Perfor
Page 216 and 217: Page 202Learned HelplessnessAfter a
Page 218 and 219: Page 204Destructive thought: Even i
Page 220 and 221: 5. Give yourself lead way: The more
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Page 224 and 225: Page 211PART 4ANXIETY...PANIC... OB
Page 226 and 227: Page 214foods. When she did, the sa
Page 228 and 229: Page 2162. A panic attack will not
Page 230 and 231: Page 218Were you alone or with some
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Page 234 and 235: Page 222Catch Your Panic Before It
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Page 2241. If you can, leave the si
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He's been a nervous type for as lon
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Page 230Roots of High AnxietyDid yo
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Page 232A critical, angry parent: T
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in danger and take immediate self
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Page 236Defusing the Panic ButtonTh
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Page 238CranioSacral Therapy: Throu
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Page 240Can't Relax!So, you've done
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Relaxation techniques and drugs, th
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Page 244Get plenty of fresh air and
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Page 247Chapter 17Avoiding Sidewalk
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or greater awareness. And there may
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Page 251Common Obsessions:Contamina
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After reading this chapter, you mig
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The first hints that OCD was a biol
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Page 257Other Ways to Steady the Ti
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Page 260Unimaginable Real FearFor t
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Page 262You relive the event daily
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Though more men are exposed to trau
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The few days following the trauma a
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Page 268Something about the eye mov
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Page 271PART 5CHILDHOOD FEARS"Mommy
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he won't disappear down the bathtub
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anxieties, and obsessions and compu
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Page 278Who's in Charge? Nature or
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Of all childhood memories, few are
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She will now feel that she has to h
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Page 286Just the FactsChildren can
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Page 288Avoid "Sink or Swim"Don't f
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Page 290If you want to know what ma
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Page 293Chapter 20No More "I Don't
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comfort, and protection evokes a de
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parents will argue if he's not arou
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Page 299It's Okay to Be AfraidAlway
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Page 301One Day at a TimeIf your ch
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When he was four, his mother told h
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Page 308Childhood HorrorsAll childh
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It is a premature introduction to s
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mansion, the sight of injured or de
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Page 314These fantasies and distort
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Page 316Old Enough to Imagine and U
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Page 318DepressionFlight into prema
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Page 320When You Need Help to Put Y
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Page 322When No One Listens!Sixteen
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confusion and protect them. They wa
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Page 326It's important that you don
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The most distressing situation is g
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them with that which gets the smile
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Back Off: Don't pressure your kids
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Page 335APPENDIX AGLOSSARYAcrophobi
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Psychodynamic TherapyA type of ps
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Page 340Diet and NutritionAirola, P
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Page 342Childhood Anxiety Disorders
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Page 344Obsessive Compulsive Founda
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Page 346Allen, Woody (screen writer
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Page 348Hypoglycemia: A Better Appr
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Page 350connectedness, importance,
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Page 352goalsettingagoraphobia (f
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Page 354menagoraphobia (fear of ope
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Page 356hormonal imbalances, 31hype
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Page 358cognitive therapy, 9697dr
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Page 360substances/foods to avoid,
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Page 362Wwalking, aerobic exercises
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Complete Idiot's Guide to Conquering Fear and Anxiety

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