Complete Idiot's Guide to Conquering Fear and Anxiety

Page 318DepressionFlight into premature adult behavior­early marriage, pregnancy, dropping out of school, seeking older friendsObsession with traumatic event and disturbing memories and flashbacksRejection of parents, or needinessIf you suspect childhood sexual abuse, here are some traumatic reactions to look for in teenagers:Sexually exploitative or aggressive interactions with younger childrenSexual promiscuity, or avoidance of any sexual involvementRunning away from homeHelping Your Child Build a Safe FortressSeeing your child in pain is heartbreaking for a parent. Seeing your child traumatized, perhaps irrevocably, is devastating beyond words and pierces your very being.What can you as a parent do to put your child on the healing path and soothe her emotional wounds? Be there to support, comfort and reassure her in every waypossible. Although you can't push the erase button and make the traumatic event disappear, the more she can feel you as a protective presence­against physicalattack, emotional pain, another's cruelty­the more secure she will feel. Don't hold back on holding­touch is the best elixir of all sorrow and nature's homemade securityblanket. Be kind, but firm­the more consistency and structure in a child's life, the less confusion and disorganization. Take her pain and fears seriously and respectthem­to feel understood and valued is one of life's greatest gifts.Here are more suggestions:Try to remain calm in your child's presence. Children are vulnerable to the impact of their trauma on the people they love and look to their parents to discover themeaning of what has happened to them. Be mindful of how your own anxiety and reactions to the trauma might escalate your child's distress.Get your child to talk about the trauma and her feelings. If she's too young to easily describe the event or her feelings, give her the words­"You're having these scarynightmares because it was very frightening for you to see daddy die. It's okay. The bad dreams won't always be there." "I think you're afraid when we drive over thebridge because you're worried that you could fall in the water and drown like your friend Susie. But that was an unusual accident and doesn't happen very often to littlechildren. Mommy and daddy won't let that happen to you." Explain to children that it's perfectly normal to have strong uncomfortable feelings like shame, guilt, or awish for revenge.