Complete Idiot's Guide to Conquering Fear and Anxiety

To help dispute the negative thinking that fuels your fear of failure or success, see if you can identify the following logical flaws in your thinking process that werepresented in the last chapter:1. Overgeneralization­"I'll never get a good job."2. All­or­nothing thoughts­"This is all wrong."3. Disqualification of the positive­"Oh you're wrong. I am really stupid."4. Magnification or minimization­"But I misspelled a word!"5. Mental filter­"You're really telling me that I was lousy in bed, aren't you?"Remember to write these logical flaws on a card and carry it with you. When you fail or succeed at a task and feel anxious afterwards, look at this card and askyourself if your thinking reflects any of these logical flaws.One Small Success at a TimeAlmost any goal can be achieved if broken down into sufficiently small steps. It doesn't matter how small. Developing a competency of any kind strengthens yoursense of self­efficacy and makes the next step easier. The more you succeed, the more willing you become to take more risks and seek out more demandingchallenges. The secret is in setting goals that make failure less likely and success manageable.Page 205Here are some helpful goal­setting strategies:1. Set realistic goals: Achievement­oriented people don't shoot for the stars unless they are certain they can capture the moon. In other words, before applying tomedical school, make sure that you can ace a college chemistry course. Also look carefully at the reality of issues such as time, energy, and resources. Remember,repeated failures are not only frustrating but can lead to learned helplessness, causing you to give up altogether. Accepting self­limitations and letting go of the need forperfectionism is the ultimate of self­acceptance.2. Set goals over which you feel the greatest control: The more you can depend on your own actions rather that those of others when pursuing your goals, the morecredit you will likely take for your success and as a result, you will feel enhanced self­efficacy.3. Base goals on your destructive thoughts: The more direct steps you take to challenge your fears, the less they will control your life.4. Be specific: Outline a game plan that is broken down into a time line and composed of small, discreet steps that will enable you to easily gauge your progress.