ETHICAL

Roadmaps through Jealousy
and Wednesday) Night Football. Jealousy is not exclusive to sluts; it's
an emotion we all have to deal with.
Many people believe that sexual territoriality is a natural part of
individual and social evolution. If you believe that, it's easy to use jealousy
as justification to go berserk and stop being a sane, responsible,
and ethical human being. Threatened with feeling jealous, we allow our
brains to turn to static with the excuse that we are acting on instinct.
Your authors don't think it matters if jealousy derives from nature or
nurture or both. What matters is that we know from experience that
we can change it.
Here is a story from Dossie's life about the struggle to cope with
jealousy:
My lover is late coming home. I hope she is all right-this morning she
left in tears. Last night we both cried until very late. I hope she will
not be too angry with me, or then again, her anger might be easier to
bear than her pain. Last night I thought my heart would break from
feeling her pain.
And it's my fault, my choice, my responsibility. I am asking my
lover to go through the fire for reasons most of the rest of the world
consider frivolous if not downright reprehensible. I cannot, will not,
be monogamous.
More than three decades ago, I left my daughter's violent father,
fighting my way out the door, bruised and pregnant, promising anything,
promising I would call my parents for money, lying. After I
escaped Joe, he sent me suicide threats and threatened murder-one
time he set fires around the house he thought we were still in. After I
left, I decided he was right-I am a slut, I want to be a slut, I will never
promise monogamy again. I will never be a piece of property again, no
matter how valuable that property is considered. Joe made a feminist
of me-a feminist slut.
My lover is back. She brought me a flower. She still doesn't want a
hug. She feels her house has been invaded by alien energy. I was very
careful to clean up, all is very tidy, dinner is ready, appeasement and
placation, I'll do anything not to feel so awful.
Why did I insist on doing this? My coauthor and I have been patiently
waiting to resume this part of our relationship when my newfound
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