ETHICAL

THE ETHICAL SLUT
directly conscious of-connected to-that divinity that always flows
through you . ... For us, sex is already an opportunity to see god."
SEX WORKERS
Despite what you might have learned from the TV or the tabloids, sex
workers really are not all desperate drug addicts, debased women, or
predatory gold diggers. Many healthy and happy women and men work
in the sex industry, doing essential and positive work healing the wounds
inflicted by our sex-negative culture. We know them as friends, lovers,
colleagues, writers, therapists, and educators, as well as performers
and artists. These folks have a great deal to teach us about boundaries,
limit-setting, communication, sexual negotiation, and ways to achieve
growth, connection, and fulfillment outside a traditional monogamous
relationship. Do not imagine that connections between sex workers and
clients are necessarily cold, impersonal, or degrading, or that only losers
frequent prostitutes. Many client/prostitute relationships become a
source of tremendous connection, warmth, and affection for both parties,
and last many years. Practitioners of the world's oldest profession
offer all of us the wisdom of the ages about understanding, accepting,
and fulfilling our desires: these are the real sex experts.
Cultural Diversity
While we are looking at sexual diversity, let's remember that we live
in a multicultural society, and that every culture in our world, every
subculture, every ethnic culture, has its own ways of creating relationship,
connecting in sex, and building families. All of those ways are
valid and valuable.
One of the great joys of living as a slut is the opportunity to make
intimate connections with people whose background is very different
from your own. When you do that, you will find yourself tripping,
with some embarrassment, over a lot of differences, the way Dossie
and her friends from Japan used to trip over each other in doorways:
in Japan, men go through the door first. Getting used to differences
can feel awkward, but every time it happens you've learned something
new about how people go about being human.
Maybe something that you learn will be just the thing you've been
looking for that was lacking in your own culture. Dossie came from a
38