ETHICAL

Sex and Pleasure
and experience. What we are advocating here is communication by,
with, and for everybody.
E XC E R C I 5 E More Fun with Your DYe., No, May&eH Us,
Once you've made a list, there are lots of further activities you can
do with it:
• Put your lists up on the fridge or in the bathroom where you can see
them every day.
• Write a possible script for your next date based entirely on items
found on both of your YES lists.
• Write a script from the YES lists for a satisfying half-hour date you
could do on a weeknight-a quickie plan.
• Choose an item from your MAYBE list and figure out what you
would need to try that and how your partner could help you. What
are your conditions?
• Choose an item from your partner's MAYBE list and create a
fantasy of how you could seduce him into it. Tell him about the
fantasy-this is not a time for pouncing and yelling "Surprise!"
FIND YO UR TURN-ON
Have you ever set out to make love and discovered that you couldn't find
your turn-on? There you are, hunting for that elusive state of excitement
and wondering what's wrong with you when your lover does the things
you usually love and your response is just plain nothing, or, worse yet,
irritation or ticklishness. Women wonder why they aren't getting wet,
men agonize over absent erections, everybody either fakes it or gets
embarrassed. It happens to everybody. Really. It's not just you.
For some people, losing their turn-on happens when they are nervous,
maybe with a new partner or in a new situation. For others,
familiarity reduces arousal, and they have a hard time grasping their
desire in their relationships with the people they know the best and
love the most.
243