ETHICAL

Index
cheating and, 164-167
connecting, 178-179
exercises, 166, 168, 170-171,
175, 176, 178
first steps toward, 167-168
keeping it hot, 172-177
turning two into three, 161-164
turn-on, finding, 176-178
Open relationships
choosing, 63-64
commitment in, 52, 192-195
couples in, 50-52
script for, II
Oral sex, 235
Orgasm
control of, 247
learning about, 235
limitations of, 60-61
rushing toward, 246
simultaneous, 32
spiritual, 37-38
without ejaculation, 60
Orgies, 259-260
Outside relationships, 18, 26,
162-163
Ownership, 71, 192
p
Pansexual, 8
Partnerships. See also Couples
benefits of, 206
open relationships, 50-52
partner to a partner, 212-213
Party spaces, 252-254
Passion, 172-177
Personal ads, 186-188
Physical-sexual limitations, 60-61
Platonic relationships, 47
Pleasure
making time for, 176
non-demand, 179, 248
worthiness of, 23, 24
Polyamory ( "poly" ), 8, 31,
157-158, 184-185
Polyfidelity, 54
Predictability, 155-156
Pregnancy, unwanted, 95, 97, 98
Pretending to be who you aren't,
90-91
Primary relationships, 26, 52-53,
66-67, 204
Projection, 74-75, 113
Promises, 79-80
Public sex, 54, 251-252
R
Real-world limits, 26, 58-60
Reassurance, 65-66, 123, 153-154
Relationship pioneers, 27-29
Respect, 21, 74 , 90, 210
Roles
boundaries for, 75-77
constrained, 214
in flirting and cruising, 82-83
gender, 36, 234-235
Romantic love, 15-16
5
Safer sex
agreements about, 239
AIDS/HIV and, 41, 92, 94-95,
96-97, 98
barriers for, 93-94, 95
birth control, 60, 95, 97-98
committing to, 98-99
condoms, 93-94, 9 5, 247-248
dental dams, 93
exercise, 94
fluid bonding/fluid monogamy,
94-95
gay men and, 33
herpes, 92, 96, 99
high-risk behaviors to avoid,
95-96
overview, 92-93
refusing to deal with, 79, 95
single sluts and, 210
Saying "no"
consent for, 242
flirting and, 83-84
honesty in, 80
importance of, 67
men's ability to, 33, 83
single sluts and, 210
Saying "yes," 84, 242
Scoring, 79
Secondary relationships, 53
Self-esteem, 78, 238
Self-nurturing, 58, 207
Self-reliance, 58
Serial monogamy, 31, 5 0
Sex. See also Masturbation
afterglow, 249
age and disability and, 231-232
anal sex, 95, 173, 239
285