ETHICAL

Opening an Existing Relationship
IN BED
When you get to the bed, being equally turned on is not a requirement;
you can both get there with a little time and cheerful cooperation.
The more ready person can help the other person catch up. Try out
what sex therapists call "nondemand pleasuring," which adds up to
anything you know your partner likes, without pushing them further.
Try an experiment where you agree that one partner will set out to
arouse the other in the way the receptive partner chooses-with no
obligations, and no blame if it doesn't work.
GETTING THERE IS HALF THE FUN
Whatever you choose to try, please try something. You have to do
something different if you want a different outcome.
None of this works every time. Simply making the effort is progress,
even when one particular attempt doesn't pan out. Setting aside time
with the intention to hunt for your turn-on is the best way to start,
and if you set out to get sexy and you don't get all the way there, you
can still enjoy the journey.
Consult your "Yes" lists and scheme together for a brief encounter
on a weeknight. Schedule a time when you can have a twelve-hour
date-yes, twelve whole hours-without being interrupted. Go out to
dinner, to a beach, hiking-whatever you like. Come home, shower the
sweat off together, light the candles, and see what happens next.
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