ETHICAL

THE ETHICAL SLUT
form, and something reminiscent of a clan or a tribe may evolve. Then
the question of introducing your lovers can become obsolete, as they
may already know each other.
If you are a single person in any open sexual lifestyle, you must
pay attention to how you are getting your sexual, emotional, and
social needs met. You can do this in an infinite variety of ways. The
important thing is to be aware of your needs and wants, so you can
go about getting them met with full consciousness. If you pretend that
you have no needs, for sex, for affection, for emotional support, you
are lying to yourself, and you will wind up trying to get your needs
met by indirect methods that won't work very well. People who do
this often get called manipulative or passive-aggressive-terms, in our
opinion, for people who have not figured out how to get their needs
met in a straightforward manner. Do not commit yourself to a lifetime
of hinting and hoping.
When you figure out what you want and ask for it, you'll be surprised
how often the answer is "yes." Think how relieved you might
feel when someone asks you for support, or a hug, or otherwise lets
you know how to please him. Think of how competent and just plain
good you feel when you can truly help another person, whether it's by
offering a shoulder to cry on or that just-right stimulation that leads
to the perfect orgasm. Give your friends the opportunity to feel good
by fulfilling you too.
Partnerships
There are multiple forms of open relationships for the partnered, including
serial monogamy, where one's various partners are separated in
time, and the ever-popular nonconsensual nonmonogamy, otherwise
known as cheating. We can think of these lifestyles as unconscious
free love, but your authors feel both freer and safer when we love right
out in the open.
It is axiomatic that open relationships work best when a couple takes
care of each other and their relationship first, before they include others
in their dynamic. So the slut couple needs to be willing to do the work
we will describe later in this book to communicate well and to handle
jealousy, insecurity, and territoriality with the highest consciousness.
Cuuples m:t:J lU knuw and communicate their boundanes, to make
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