preview

APRIL 15
SELF-ESTEEM vs. SELF-KNOWLEDGE
“Then Jesus said to them, ‘All of you will be made to stumble because of
me this night…’ Peter answered and said to him, ‘Even if all are made to
stumble because of you, I will never be made to stumble.’” (Mt 26: 31, 33-
34)
In the final hours leading up to our Lord’s arrest and passion, Peter is full
of self-confidence, proclaiming that he will “never” be made to stumble.
Just a few verses later Christ Himself displays a very different attitude
in the face of His imminent suffering, throwing Himself on the ground
in Gethsemane and praying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass
from me; yet not what I want but what you want” (Mt 26: 39). The God-
Man seeks strength in prayer, while Peter seeks strength in himself.
High self-esteem is often thought to lead to high performance and
success. Don’t focus on your human weaknesses, I am told; focus on your
“awesomeness.” But such a focus actually leads to fear; to a quiet terror of
making mistakes, as I defensively assert my “awesomeness” to protect it.
When I take a good look at my weaknesses, on the other hand, I actually
find strength and motivation. Because self-examination leads me both to
understand my deficiencies and to seek help from God and other people.
This doesn’t mean “letting myself off the hook” or “lowering the bar.” An
understanding of my particular sinful patterns helps me see them for
what they are, and that is, changeable. I do change and grow as I seek and
receive help, in prayer and humble openness to myself and others.
Today let me choose the path of self-compassionate change over the deadend
of self-esteem. God does not abandon me on the transformational
journey of His cross, when I recognize and ask for the help that I need.
110