Kundalini.Tantra.by.Satyananda.Saraswati

cycle of birth and rebirth is situated in swadhisthana chakra. And although most people
confront difficulties when they're moving through the terrain of swadhisthana, if one has
the grace of guru and indomitable and invincible willpower, and if he has been sincere
and not hypocritical in his spiritual pursuits, if he's very clear about his goal and he
understands what these purgatory experiences are, he can face the difficulties properly
and overcome them.
If one fluctuates even slightly, kundalini will return to mooladhara and the real
awakening will be more difficult. Therefore, in the first stages of sadhana and awakening,
one must have a supreme kind of vairagya (detachment). It should not be intellectual
vairagya, but the outcome of a thorough analysis of the situations of life. Where is the
end to the pleasures of life ? Can you ever satisfy your desires ? Even when you reach the
age of 80 or 90 and your body can no longer enjoy pleasures, the mind still dwells on
them constantly. You can leave all the sensual pleasures, but the taste will remain in the
mind.
If the sadhaka understands this truth, that desires can never be satisfied in one
lifetime, or even in thousands of lifetimes, then kundalini can pass through swadhisthana
safely and relatively fast, and make its way to manipura chakra. Without this
understanding, swadhisthana becomes like an impenetrable iron curtain and perhaps only
one in thousands can transcend it. Many people awaken kundalini quite easily, but
passing the swadhisthana border is another thing; you can't get through without a visa.
The sexual crisis
I remember reading a book written by a wellknown swami who had difficulties
getting through swadhisthana. He wrote: "I was sitting all night and nothing but sex and
sensual thoughts came to my mind. And I dreamed of many women presenting
themselves in their naked form, and my whole body was becoming hot and cold, hot and
cold. Ultimately I got a headache, and at one point, I thought my heart would collapse.
"Throughout the crisis, my guru's face used to come like a glimpse. His face was
stern and expressionless, and that used to bring my temperature back to normal.
However, this confrontation I was having with a powerful side of my mind continued
until morning. At last, when morning came I breathed a sigh of relief. But then, when I
sat for meditation in the evening, I had mixed feelings. I had fear in my mind and
confidence as well.
"Day in and day out the mind played its tricks on me. Then one night Parvati came to
me. Parvati is the shakti of Lord Shiva, and she is the divine mother. I knew she was
Parvati, but because she looked so beautiful and she was wearing almost transparent
clothing, I began to desire her. Rather than remembering that she was the divine mother,
my mind was more aware of the form behind the transparent apparel.