Uncle Andy's Digest - August 2021

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AbracadabraSubmitted by Tyla DavisA Spanish magiciantells the audience he isgoing to disappear onthe count of three.“Uno...dos...”and then he disappearswithout a tres.• Chlorine• ShockMy new roof didn’t cost me anything. It was on the house.WE HAVE POOL SUPPLIES!Get your pool ready for the summer• Filters & Parts• Pool toys!186 Sabattus Road, Sabattus • (207) 375-6253Sundays are always a little somber, but the day before is a sadder day.MENTION THIS ADfor $25 off of 100 gallons or more!Exp. 9/30/21207-225-300084 General Turner Hill Road, Turner • www.mhoilandpropane.comEST1950Appointmentsand walk-inswelcome!783-3444OPEN:Tues-Fri7:30a-5:30pSat 7:30a-2pBooth Rentals Available54 Mill StreetNew AuburnIt’s timefor back-to-schoolhaircuts!Griffin Murphy with ErnieMy wife was so angry about the new dinner set I bought that she ripped up all the plates.DID YOUKNOW?High School was notintroduced in the U.S.until 1910 and it wasthe 1930’s before moststudents attended.Before then, studentsattended only throughGrade Eight.Monday - Saturday 11a-9p47 Broad Street, Auburnwww.firehouseauburn.com207-376-4959HAPPY HOURMonday-Friday2p-5pBURGER MONDAY$2 OFFAugust DrinkSpecialTequila Sunrise$7Uncle Andy’s Digest ...withJimbo32 August 2021 783-7039Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again.
If pandas get enough sleep, do they lose the circles under their eyes?We keep growing! So...We’ve Moved!Come visit us at our NEW home at 368 Minot Ave in Auburn!Whether you’re looking to buy, sell, or build a home, our growingteam works with you every step of the way!Out ‘n About atPoland SpringGolf Coursefor the Pierre “Pete” J. SimardBenefit Golf TournamentGolf isstrictly a numbersgame. Youyell, “FOUR,” score aseven, while writingdown a five.JonMercierMarkTurnerToniFerraroBrandonCarusoDebMorinLindaDupuisReginaRitchieDustinMallarZachLutick368 Minot Avenue, Auburn • 207.333.6001 • mainesourcehomes.comMasonDupuisThe local mime just got arrested. He has the right to remain silent.Out ‘n About with the Androscoggin Networkers BNI GroupLindsayWrightTyler Lambert &Alex SchellingMy favoritequality in a golfpartner is someonewho plays worsethan I do!I want mynext referral servedup with a red solocup!Crikey,this party’sawesome!Irving Perez &Raymond ProulxFred Collins, Joseph Drew, Dustin Boutin, Patrick Penley, & Mike RossYou can always spot the folks that can’t count to 14because they’ll be in front of you at the Express Checkout at the grocery store.Aaron Ouellette &Cy ThompsonUncle Andy’s Digest...withJimboAugust 2021 UncleAndys.com 33
Page 1 and 2: UNCLEANDY’SDIGEST SINCEDAILY, WEE
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Page 5 and 6: S ABATTU SMAIN STREET MARKETA fight
Page 7 and 8: After my morning coffee, I like to
Page 9 and 10: AugustSpecialYour one-stop shop for
Page 11 and 12: MAINE’S #1 STEAKHOUSETake OutAvai
Page 13 and 14: When we were young, we would sneak
Page 15 and 16: I just went to a concert and it onl
Page 17 and 18: 2Fungi need as mushroom to grow as
Page 19 and 20: CAREER OPPORTUNITIESWANTED: Year Ro
Page 21 and 22: I need to return my wine box to the
Page 23 and 24: Steve: How many truly great men do
Page 25 and 26: Y’S DIGESTentsArcheologists found
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Page 29 and 30: Marketing & Technology(207) 515-159
Page 31: A man has reached old age when he i
Page 35 and 36: OXFORD HILLS AREA BUSINESSESF ind Y
Page 37 and 38: I know a lot of jokes about retired
Page 39 and 40: A friend of mine just sold some vin
Page 41 and 42: Make yourreservationnow!I’m getti
Page 43 and 44: My wife said if I bought her anothe
Page 45 and 46: CALL THE PROSREDEMPTION CENTER6on a
Page 47 and 48: Don’t run out atyour cookout.Stoc

Uncle Andy's Digest - August 2021

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