No Longer Human ( PDFDrive )

104
discuss seriously your plans for the future, I would
certainly do what I could. But of course you can't
expect to lead your former life of luxury on the help
that poor old Flatfish can give—don't give yourself
any illusions on that score. No—but if you are resolute
in your determination to begin again afresh, and you
make definite plans for building your future, I think
I might actually be willing to help you to rehabilitate
yourself if you came to me for help, though Heaven
knows I haven't much to spare. Do you understand
my feelings? What are your plans?"
"If you won't let me stay here in your house I'll
work . . ."
"Are you serious? Do you realize that nowadays
even graduates of Tokyo Imperial University . . ."
"No, I wasn't thinking of getting a job with a
company."
"What then?"
"I want to be a painter." I said this with conviction.
"Wha-a-t?"
I can never forget the indescribably crafty shadow
that passed over Flatfish's face as he laughed at me,
his neck drawn in. It resembled contempt, yet it was
different: if the world, like the sea, had depths of a
thousand fathoms, this was the kind of weird shadow
which might be found hovering here and there at the