No Longer Human ( PDFDrive )

118
Shigeko at least was safe, but she too was like the ox
which suddenly lashes out with its tail to kill the
horsefly on its flank. I knew that from then on I
would have to be timid even before that little girl.
"Is the lady-killer at home?"
Horiki had taken to visiting me again at my place.
I could not refuse him, even though this was the
man who had made me so miserable the day I ran
away. I welcomed him with a feeble smile.
"Your comic strips are getting quite a reputation,
aren't they? There's no competing with amateurs—they're
so foolhardy they don't know when to
be afraid. But don't get overconfident. Your composition
is still not worth a damn."
He dared to act the part of the master to me! I
felt my usual empty tremor of anguish at the thought,
"I can imagine the expression on his face if I showed
him my 'ghost pictures'." But I protested instead,
"Don't say such things. You'll make me cry."
Horiki looked all the more elated with himself.
"If all you've got is just enough talent to get along,
sooner or later you'll betray yourself."
Just enough talent to get along—I really had to
smile at that. Imagine saying that I had enough talent
to get along! It occurred to me that a man like myself
who dreads human beings, shuns and deceives them,