No Longer Human ( PDFDrive )

132
"Go ahead."
"No, I'm not qualified. I'm afraid I'll have to give
up the idea of marrying you. Look at my face. Red,
isn't it? I've been drinking."
"II'H just the sunset shining on it. Don't try to
fool me. You promised yesterday you wouldn't drink.
You wouldn't break a promise, would you? We
hooked fingers. Don't tell me you've been drinking.
It's a lie—I know it is."
Yoshiko's pale face was smiling as she sat there
inside the dimly lit shop. What a holy thing uncorrupted
virginity is, I thought. I had never slept with
a virgin, a girl younger than myself. I'd marry her. I
wanted once in my lifetime to know that great savage
joy, no matter how immense the suffering that might
ensue. I had always imagined that the beauty of virginity
was nothing more than the sweet, sentimental
illusion of stupid poets, but it really is alive and
present in this world. We would get married. In the
spring we'd go together on bicycles to see waterfalls
framed in green leaves.
I made up my mind on the spot: it was a thenand-there
decision, and I did not hesitate to steal the
flower.
Not long afterwards we were married. The joy
I obtained as a result of this action was not necessarily
great or savage, but the suffering which ensued was