No Longer Human ( PDFDrive )

86
first time I had ever drunk so much as to lose consciousness.
When I woke Tsuneko was sitting by my pillow.
I had been sleeping in her room on the second floor
of the carpenter's house. "I thought you were joking
when you told me that love flew out the window
when poverty came in the door. Were you serious?
You didn't come any more. What a complicated business
it is, love and poverty. Suppose I work for you?
Wouldn't that be all right?"
"No, it wouldn't."
She lay down beside me. Towards dawn she
pronounced for the first time the word "death." She
too seemed to be weary beyond endurance of the task
of being a human being; and when I reflected on my
dread of the world and its bothersomeness, on money,
the movement, women, my studies, it seemed impossible
that I could go on living. I consented easily
to her proposal.
Nevertheless I was still unable to persuade myself
fully of the reality of this resolution to die. Somehow
there lurked an element of make-believe.
The two of us spent that morning wandering
around Asakusa. We went into a lunch stand and
drank a glass of milk.
She said, "You pay this time."
I stood up, took out my wallet and opened it.