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No Longer Human ( PDFDrive )

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forget how weak my body was, and I applied myself

energetically to my cartoons. Sometimes I would burst

out laughing even while I was drawing.

I had intended to take one shot a day, but it became

two, then three; when it reached four I could

no longer work unless I had my shots.

All I needed was the woman at the pharmacy to

admonish me, saying how dreadful it would be if I

became an addict, for me to feel that I had already

become a fairly confirmed addict. (I am very susceptible

to other people's suggestions. When people say to

me, "You really shouldn't spend this money, but I

suppose you will anyway ..." I have the strange illusion

that I would be going against expectations and

somehow doing wrong unless I spent it. I invariably

spend all the money immediately.) My uneasiness

over having become an addict actually made me seek

more of the drug.

"I beg you! One more box. I promise I'll pay you

at the end of the month."

"You can pay the bill any old time as far as I'm

concerned, but the police are very troublesome, you

know."

Something impure, dark, reeking of the shady

character always hovers about me.

"I beg you! Tell them something or other, put

them off the track. Ill give you a kiss."

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