No Longer Human ( PDFDrive )

106
on poor old Flatfish to dole out each month the capital
needed for my rehabilitation.
When I left Flatfish's house, however, I was
certainly not seriously entertaining any idea of consulting
the likes of Horiki about my future plans.
I left the note hoping thereby to pacify Flatfish for a
little while, if only for a split-second. (I didn't write
the note so much out of a detective-story strategem
to gain a little more time for my escape—though, I
must admit that the desire was at least faintly present
—as to avoid causing Flatfish a sudden shock which
would send him into a state of wild alarm and confusion.
I think that might be a somewhat more
accurate presentation of my motives. I knew that the
facts were certain to be discovered, but I was afraid
to state them as they were. One of my tragic flaws
is the compulsion to add some sort of embellishment
to every situation—a quality which has made people
call me at times a liar—but I have almost never
embellished in order to bring myself any advantage;
it was rather that I had a strangulating fear of that
cataclysmic change in the atmosphere the instant the
flow of a conversation flagged, and even when I knew
that it would later turn to my disadvantage, I frequently
felt obliged to add, almost inadvertently, my
word of embellishment, out of a desire to please born
of my usual desperate mania for service. This may