No Longer Human ( PDFDrive )

84
aback: Tsuneko was going to be kissed in another few
minutes.
It wasn't that I regretted losing her. I have never
had the faintest craving for possessions. Once in a
while, it is true, I have experienced a vague sense of
regret at losing something, but never strongly enough
to affirm positively or to contest with others my rights
of possession. This was so true of me that some years
later I even watched in silence when my own wife was
violated.
I have tried insofar as possible to avoid getting
involved in the sordid complications of human beings.
I have been afraid of being sucked down into their
bottomless whirlpool. Tsuneko and I were lovers of
just one night. She did not belong to me. It was unlikely
that I would pretend to so imperious an emotion
as "regret." And yet I was shocked.
It was because I felt sorry for Tsuneko, sorry that
she should be obliged to accept Horiki's savage kisses
while I watched. Once she had been defiled by Horiki
she would no doubt have to leave me. But my ardor
was not positive enough for me to stop Tsuneko. I
experienced an instant of shock at her unhappiness;
I thought, "It's all over now." Then, the next moment,
I meekly, helplessly resigned myself. I looked from
Horiki to Tsuneko. I grinned.