No Longer Human ( PDFDrive )

168
here, but we want you to begin your convalescence
afresh in the country." He added that I need not worry
about my various commitments in Tokyo. Flatfish
would take care of them.
I felt as though I could see before my eyes the
mountains and rivers back borne. I nodded faintly.
A reject, exactly.
The news of my father's death eviscerated me.
He was dead, that familiar, frightening presence who
had never left my heart for a split second. I felt as
though the vessel of my suffering had become empty,
as if nothing could interest me now. I had lost even
the ability to suffer.
My brother scrupulously carried out his promise.
He bought a house for me at a hot spring on the coast,
about four or five hours journey by rail south of the
town where I grew up, an unusually warm spot for
that part of Japan. The house, a thatch-covered rather
ancient-looking structure, stood on the outskirts of
the village. It had five rooms. The walls were peeled
and the woodwork was so worm-eaten as to seem
almost beyond all possibility of repair. My brother
also sent to look after me an ugly woman close to sixty
with horrible rusty hair.
Some three years have gone by since then. During
this interval I have several times been violated in