No Longer Human ( PDFDrive )

122
Would you like something to eat?" She was quite
calm. She did not take me seriously.
"If there's any liquor left, I'll drink it. 'Man's
life is like a flowing river. Man's river . . .' no, I mean
'the river flows, the flowing life'."
I would go on singing as Shizuko took off my
clothes. I fell asleep with my forehead pressed against
her breast. This was my daily routine.
. . . et puis on recommence encore le lendemain
avec settlement la meme regie que la veille
et qui est d'eviter les grandes joies barbares
de meme que les grandes douleurs
comme un crapaud contorne une pierre sur son
chemin. . . .
When I first read in translation these verses by
Guy-Charles Cros, I blushed until my face burned.
The toad.
(That is what I was—a toad. It was not a question
of whether or not society tolerated me, whether
or not it ostracized me. I was an animal lower than a
dog, lower than a cat. A toad. I sluggishly moved—
that's all.)
The quantities of liquor I consumed had gradually
increased. I went drinking not only in the neighborhood
of the Koenji station but as far as the Cinza.