No Longer Human ( PDFDrive )

attended by Flatfish, Horiki and herself at which it
was concluded that all relations between me and
my family were to be broken, and I was to live with
Shizuko as man and wife. Thanks also to Shizuko's
efforts, my cartoons began to produce a surprising
amount of money. I bought liquor and cigarettes, as I
had planned, with the proceeds, but my gloom and
depression grew only the more intense. I had sunk
to the bottom: sometimes when I was drawing "The
Adventures of Kinta and Ota," the monthly comic
strip for Shizuko's magazine, I would suddenly think
of home, and this made me feel so miserable that my
pen would stop moving, and I looked down, through
brimming tears.
At such times the one slight relief ca
little Shigeko. By now she was calling me
with no show of hesitation.
"Daddy, is it true that God will grant you anything
if you pray for it?"
I thought that I for one would like to make such
a prayer:
Oh, vouchsafe unto me a will of ice. Acquaint
me with the true natures of "human beings." Is it not
a sin for a man to push aside his fellow? Vouchsafe
unto me a mask of anger.
"Yes. I'm sure He'll grant Shigeko anything she
wants, but I don't suppose Daddy has a chance."