No Longer Human ( PDFDrive )

61
fine guide to Tokyo. To tell the truth, when I first
came to the city, I was afraid to board a streetcar
because of the conductor; I was afraid to enter the
Kabuki Theatre for fear of the usherettes standing
along the sides of the red-carpeted staircase at the
main entrance; I was afraid to go into a restaurant
because I was intimidated by the waiters furtively
hovering behind me waiting for my plate to be
emptied. Most of all I dreaded paying a bill—my
awkwardness when I handed over the money after
buying something did not arise from any stinginess,
but from excessive tension, excessive embarrassment,
excessive uneasiness and apprehension. My eyes
would swim in my head, and the whole world grow
dark before me, so that I felt half out of my mind.
There was no question of bargaining—not only did I
often forget to pick up my change, but I quite frequently
forgot to take home the things I had purchased.
It was quite impossible for me to make my
way around Tokyo by myself. I had no choice but to
spend whole days at a time lolling about the house.
So I turned my money over to Horiki and the
two of us went out together. He was a great bargainer
and—this perhaps earned him the ranking of expert
in pleasure-seeking—he displayed unusual proficiency
in spending minimal sums of money with maximum
effect. His talents extended to getting wherever he