Leading from the front issuu

This new experience with Māoridom was at odds with
my deep-seated belief of who I thought Māori were and
are. My sanitised colonial view of New Zealand’s history
was getting challenged to the core as I discovered
I knew nothing. How could this be? Let’s be honest, in
main stream New Zealand, we raise our children to have
no knowledge of New Zealand’s full colonial past. We
don’t talk about it, we don’t teach it, we simply demand
that Māori get over it.
I decided to challenge and ask myself some deep, inner
personal questions. Could I, as a New Zealand-bornand-raised
Pakeha, or could anyone non-Māori, truly explain
or define the ‘it’ in the statement levelled at Māori:
‘Get over it?’
I hadn’t grown up in New Zealand having to deal with
the emotional knowledge that my ancestral land had
been stolen by my Government, my Treaty partner, and
sold off to fund the infrastructure that built a nation that
we enjoy today; or knowing the Crown of today recognised
that was wrong but doubled-down by offering a
few measly cents in the dollar in compensation.
I hadn’t grown up in New Zealand having to deal with
the emotion that all those horrendous statics in health,
education, poverty, homelessness and disproportionate
incarceration rates against my culture, are a direct result
of policies put in place from the ideology and world-view
of another culture.
I hadn’t grown up in New Zealand having to deal with
the emotion and knowledge that my native language
had been actively denied and removed by the education
system. I hadn’t grown up in New Zealand having to experience
life as a minority in my own country. I can’t define
or explain the ‘it’ because ‘it’ never happened to me
and yet, without any inner moral dialogue to ever stop
and consider my thoughts, my words or my attitude, I felt
I had some right to place an expectation, a judgement
onto Māori; an expectation and a judgement that had
never been placed on me.
The ease at which I deflected these questions was
amazing. I didn’t want to know. I was thinking about the
Pakeha are also the solution.
Challenge the fear that someone
else has put there, we are not
born this way. Truly, truly,
truly learn of our full colonial
past. Not to name, shame or to
blame but to understand, to have
empathy. Demand of each other
that we acknowledge our Treaty,
that we celebrate, respect our
differences but, above all, look
into your heart and ask yourself
the questions because only you
can be honest with you.
situation but there were no consequences for me and
did I care? Life goes on for me. I decided to ask myself
why I got so angry, really angry, whenever I considered
anything to do with Māoridom. I couldn’t look at a Māori
flag without feeling somehow intimidated. I’d say things
like: “This is what happened throughout history. They
can’t be stuck there forever. It’s just one long grievance
train. When will enough be enough? Move on.”
But why was I feeling so angry if my thinking was the
truth? The truth should set me free and I shouldn’t be
feeling conflicted. What’s wrong with me? I’d tell myself
that at least we’re not like Australia. It was an odd thing
to say and could it mean that I wouldn’t admit how bad I
was but I’d judge how bad I felt based on someone else
or another country that I think is worse?
Healing our History through Te Tiriti 209