THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bierce - Sunny Hills High School

Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary
his functions are now performed by an electrician, as in New Jersey,
where executions by electricity have recently been ordered‐‐the
first instance known to this lexicographer of anybody questioning the
expediency of hanging Jerseymen.
HAPPINESS, n. An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the
misery of another.
HARANGUE, n. A speech by an opponent, who is known as an
harrangue‐outang.
HARBOR, n. A place where ships taking shelter from stores are exposed
to the fury of the customs.
HARMONISTS, n. A sect of Protestants, now extinct, who came from
Europe in the beginning of the last century and were distinguished for
the bitterness of their internal controversies and dissensions.
HASH, x. There is no definition for this word‐‐nobody knows what
hash is.
HATCHET, n. A young axe, known among Indians as a Thomashawk.
"O bury the hatchet, irascible Red,
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