THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bierce - Sunny Hills High School

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Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary TAKE, v.t. To acquire, frequently by force but preferably by stealth. TALK, v.t. To commit an indiscretion without temptation, from an impulse without purpose. TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer. The Enemy of Human Souls Sat grieving at the cost of coals; For Hell had been annexed of late, And was a sovereign Southern State. "It were no more than right," said he, "That I should get my fuel free. The duty, neither just nor wise, Compels me to economize‐‐ Whereby my broilers, every one, Are execrably underdone. What would they have?‐‐although I yearn To do them nicely to a turn, I can't afford an honest heat. This tariff makes even devils cheat! I'm ruined, and my humble trade Page | 344
All rascals may at will invade: Beneath my nose the public press Outdoes me in sulphureousness; The bar ingeniously applies To my undoing my own lies; My medicines the doctors use (Albeit vainly) to refuse To me my fair and rightful prey And keep their own in shape to pay; The preachers by example teach What, scorning to perform, I teach; And statesmen, aping me, all make More promises than they can break. Against such competition I Lift up a disregarded cry. Since all ignore my just complaint, By Hokey‐Pokey! I'll turn saint!" Now, the Republicans, who all Are saints, began at once to bawl Against _his_ competition; so There was a devil of a go! They locked horns with him, tete‐a‐tete In acrimonious debate, Till Democrats, forlorn and lone, Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary Page | 345
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THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bier
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A Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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As I said, And the books of the sag
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ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of ca
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accounts. Ambrose Bierce The Devil
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Jehal Dai Lupe B Ambrose Bierce The
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Jorace And resolutely thump and wha
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The man who taketh a steam bath He
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Why didn't he work? He would even h
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She thought it a crow, but it turn
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C Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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To further proceedings in its behal
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"God keep you, strange," I exclaime
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To thrifty J. Macpherson; "See me
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May fleas by the bushel inhabit the
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ladder. Fiercely the battle raged a
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The missiles that he threw. Orrin G
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And finds at last he might as well
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The west wind, rising, made him vee
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That brings the noisiest to book An
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For big ideas Heaven has little roo
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Israfel Brown Ambrose Bierce The De
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Dissenters. Ambrose Bierce The Devi
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along the line of desire. Sir Laven
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the price of the cow that you canno
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The loafing herd winds slowly o'er
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"This is the end," the sick man sai
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activity. There are three sexes; ma
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A rite permitting Satan to enslave
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A leech consoled the weepers: He sp
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Confirming the decree of Fate. From
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To bind the chains about her feet A
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To bear to happy hunting‐grounds
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GENTEEL, adj. Refined, after the fa
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He wildly brushed away, and then He
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GORGON, n. The Gorgon was a maiden
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The 'Possum said: "I'm great‐‐b
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A tithe of all that we collect Will
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And the truth of it I aver: Who dif
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anthropoid poets. Ambrose Bierce Th
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new sins and promotes the growth of
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So modest a man in all Ispahan, Ove
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His tale he told with a solemn face
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With clamor from the trees o'erhead
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stately courtesy are altogether sup
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"I would be, dear, but it is not wo
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You slip on a peel of banana brown.
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the dust brushed off him Oct. 3, 18
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So close their intimacy grew One pa
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She made the fool a duke, in hope W
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Murmuring: "Well, at any rate, My n
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'tis spoken To the succeeding royal
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Brave Knights Kennelers then shall
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had influence at court. (_Vide supr
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Jack Satan smelts the dead to make
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As he drew the lace she made a grim
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And sacked himself strangely in che
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Here Huntington's ashes long have l
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It lasted one whole season! The spa
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thoughtless spectators. Ambrose Bie
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Post‐mortem inscription, But M is
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pursuit is one in which the thing p
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Into the aristocracy of crime. O, w
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J.G. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s D
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to its ashes‐‐some of which hav
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have only to find it. Ambrose Bierc
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understanding. A tyranny tempered b
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Of a perfectly splendid story. 'Twa
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Thy great invention, the unfatal fe
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as "benefactions." Ambrose Bierce T
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intellectual debility. Ambrose Bier
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Rev. Dr. Mucker (in a funeral sermo
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Worgum Slupsky Ambrose Bierce The D
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sweetness of his personal character
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His learning and breeding; By what
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it. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Di
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To Leonard's resignation‐‐ His
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Page 295 and 296: evicting them. Ambrose Bierce The D
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Page 305 and 306: By guard unparried as by flight uns
Page 309 and 310: For it's been a fortnight broke." T
Page 311 and 312: Or at leastwise not as such. Moral
Page 315 and 316: A man is known by the company that
Page 317 and 318: All frosted there in the shine o' t
Page 321 and 322: That comic pencils trace‐‐ Your
Page 323 and 324: (With precious stones 'twas weighte
Page 325 and 326: Whom Dispossession, with alluring w
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Page 329 and 330: Good‐Lording and O‐mying, Her r
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Page 361 and 362: UN‐AMERICAN, adj. Wicked, intoler
Page 363 and 364: "I beg your pardon, sir," he said;
Page 365 and 366: Hannibal Hunsiker VIRTUES, n.pl. Ce
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Page 371 and 372: To entoken and give warning That my
Page 375 and 376: Time to the dead so all unreckoned
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THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bierce - Sunny Hills High School

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