THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bierce - Sunny Hills High School

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Of Roman history, great Niebuhr's shown 'Tis nine‐tenths lying. Faith, I wish 'twere known, Ere we accept great Niebuhr as a guide, Wherein he blundered and how much he lied. Salder Bupp Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary HOG, n. A bird remarkable for the catholicity of its appetite and serving to illustrate that of ours. Among the Mahometans and Jews, the hog is not in favor as an article of diet, but is respected for the delicacy and the melody of its voice. It is chiefly as a songster that the fowl is esteemed; the cage of him in full chorus has been known to draw tears from two persons at once. The scientific name of this dicky‐bird is _Porcus Rockefelleri_. Mr. Rockefeller did not discover the hog, but it is considered his by right of resemblance. HOMOEOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession. HOMOEOPATHY, n. A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not. Page | 140
Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There are four kinds of homocide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain whether he fell by one kind or another‐‐the classification is for advantage of the lawyers. HOMILETICS, n. The science of adapting sermons to the spiritual needs, capacities and conditions of the congregation. So skilled the parson was in homiletics That all his normal purges and emetics To medicine the spirit were compounded With a most just discrimination founded Upon a rigorous examination Of tongue and pulse and heart and respiration. Then, having diagnosed each one's condition, His scriptural specifics this physician Administered‐‐his pills so efficacious And pukes of disposition so vivacious That souls afflicted with ten kinds of Adam Were convalescent ere they knew they had 'em. But Slander's tongue‐‐itself all coated‐‐uttered Her bilious mind and scandalously muttered Page | 141
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THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bier
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A Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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As I said, And the books of the sag
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ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of ca
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accounts. Ambrose Bierce The Devil
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Jehal Dai Lupe B Ambrose Bierce The
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Jorace And resolutely thump and wha
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The man who taketh a steam bath He
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Why didn't he work? He would even h
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She thought it a crow, but it turn
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C Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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To further proceedings in its behal
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"God keep you, strange," I exclaime
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To thrifty J. Macpherson; "See me
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May fleas by the bushel inhabit the
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ladder. Fiercely the battle raged a
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The missiles that he threw. Orrin G
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And finds at last he might as well
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The west wind, rising, made him vee
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That brings the noisiest to book An
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For big ideas Heaven has little roo
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Israfel Brown Ambrose Bierce The De
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Dissenters. Ambrose Bierce The Devi
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along the line of desire. Sir Laven
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the price of the cow that you canno
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The loafing herd winds slowly o'er
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"This is the end," the sick man sai
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activity. There are three sexes; ma
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Page 91 and 92: A rite permitting Satan to enslave
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Page 133 and 134: A tithe of all that we collect Will
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Page 145 and 146: anthropoid poets. Ambrose Bierce Th
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Page 151 and 152: So modest a man in all Ispahan, Ove
Page 155 and 156: His tale he told with a solemn face
Page 159 and 160: With clamor from the trees o'erhead
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Page 163 and 164: "I would be, dear, but it is not wo
Page 167 and 168: You slip on a peel of banana brown.
Page 171 and 172: the dust brushed off him Oct. 3, 18
Page 175 and 176: So close their intimacy grew One pa
Page 179 and 180: She made the fool a duke, in hope W
Page 181 and 182: Murmuring: "Well, at any rate, My n
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Page 185 and 186: Brave Knights Kennelers then shall
Page 189 and 190: had influence at court. (_Vide supr
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Jack Satan smelts the dead to make
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As he drew the lace she made a grim
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And sacked himself strangely in che
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Here Huntington's ashes long have l
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It lasted one whole season! The spa
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thoughtless spectators. Ambrose Bie
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Post‐mortem inscription, But M is
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pursuit is one in which the thing p
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Into the aristocracy of crime. O, w
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J.G. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s D
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to its ashes‐‐some of which hav
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have only to find it. Ambrose Bierc
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understanding. A tyranny tempered b
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Of a perfectly splendid story. 'Twa
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Thy great invention, the unfatal fe
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as "benefactions." Ambrose Bierce T
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intellectual debility. Ambrose Bier
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Rev. Dr. Mucker (in a funeral sermo
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Worgum Slupsky Ambrose Bierce The D
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sweetness of his personal character
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His learning and breeding; By what
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it. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Di
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To Leonard's resignation‐‐ His
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While they were turning him on t'ot
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evicting them. Ambrose Bierce The D
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By guard unparried as by flight uns
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For it's been a fortnight broke." T
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Or at leastwise not as such. Moral
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A man is known by the company that
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All frosted there in the shine o' t
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That comic pencils trace‐‐ Your
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(With precious stones 'twas weighte
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Whom Dispossession, with alluring w
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"That Badman John must cease this t
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Good‐Lording and O‐mying, Her r
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And there deliriously fed As fast a
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All rascals may at will invade: Ben
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no cat. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’
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A President not strenuously bent On
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U Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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UN‐AMERICAN, adj. Wicked, intoler
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"I beg your pardon, sir," he said;
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Hannibal Hunsiker VIRTUES, n.pl. Ce
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Anonymus Bink Ambrose Bierce The De
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To entoken and give warning That my
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Time to the dead so all unreckoned
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Y Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bierce - Sunny Hills High School

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