THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bierce - Sunny Hills High School

And sacked himself strangely in checks instead;
Denuded his chin, but retained at each ear
A whisker that looked like a blasted career.
He painted his neck an incarnadine hue
Each morning and varnished it all that he knew.
The moony monocular set in his eye
Appeared to be scanning the Sweet Bye‐and‐Bye.
His head was enroofed with a billycock hat,
And his low‐necked shoes were aduncous and flat.
In speech he eschewed his American ways,
Denying his nose to the use of his A's
And dulling their edge till the delicate sense
Of a babe at their temper could take no offence.
His H's‐‐'twas most inexpressibly sweet,
The patter they made as they fell at his feet!
Re‐outfitted thus, Mr. Splurge without fear
Began as Lord Splurge his recouping career.
Alas, the Divinity shaping his end
Entertained other views and decided to send
His lordship in horror, despair and dismay
From the land of the nobleman's natural prey.
For, smit with his Old World ways, Lady Cadde
Fell‐‐suffering Caesar!‐‐in love with her dad!
Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary
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