THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bierce - Sunny Hills High School

More documents

Recommendations

Info

Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary DEPUTY, n. A male relative of an office‐holder, or of his bondsman. The deputy is commonly a beautiful young man, with a red necktie and an intricate system of cobwebs extending from his nose to his desk. When accidentally struck by the janitor's broom, he gives off a cloud of dust. "Chief Deputy," the Master cried, "To‐day the books are to be tried By experts and accountants who Have been commissioned to go through Our office here, to see if we Have stolen injudiciously. Please have the proper entries made, The proper balances displayed, Conforming to the whole amount Of cash on hand‐‐which they will count. I've long admired your punctual way‐‐ Here at the break and close of day, Confronting in your chair the crowd Of business men, whose voices loud And gestures violent you quell By some mysterious, calm spell‐‐ Some magic lurking in your look Page | 68
That brings the noisiest to book And spreads a holy and profound Tranquillity o'er all around. So orderly all's done that they Who came to draw remain to pay. But now the time demands, at last, That you employ your genius vast In energies more active. Rise And shake the lightnings from your eyes; Inspire your underlings, and fling Your spirit into everything!" The Master's hand here dealt a whack Upon the Deputy's bent back, When straightway to the floor there fell A shrunken globe, a rattling shell A blackened, withered, eyeless head! The man had been a twelvemonth dead. Jamrach Holobom Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary DESTINY, n. A tyrant's authority for crime and fool's excuse for failure. Page | 69
Page 1 and 2:
THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bier
Page 3 and 4:
A Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
Page 5 and 6:
Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictio
Page 7 and 8:
As I said, And the books of the sag
Page 9 and 10:
Page 11 and 12:
ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of ca
Page 13 and 14:
Page 15 and 16:
Page 17 and 18: Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictio
Page 21 and 22: accounts. Ambrose Bierce The Devil
Page 25 and 26: Jehal Dai Lupe B Ambrose Bierce The
Page 27 and 28: Jorace And resolutely thump and wha
Page 29 and 30: The man who taketh a steam bath He
Page 31 and 32: Why didn't he work? He would even h
Page 33 and 34: She thought it a crow, but it turn
Page 39 and 40: C Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
Page 43 and 44: To further proceedings in its behal
Page 47 and 48: "God keep you, strange," I exclaime
Page 49 and 50: To thrifty J. Macpherson; "See me
Page 51 and 52: May fleas by the bushel inhabit the
Page 55 and 56: ladder. Fiercely the battle raged a
Page 57 and 58: The missiles that he threw. Orrin G
Page 63 and 64: And finds at last he might as well
Page 65 and 66: The west wind, rising, made him vee
Page 67: Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictio
Page 71 and 72: For big ideas Heaven has little roo
Page 73 and 74: Israfel Brown Ambrose Bierce The De
Page 75 and 76: Dissenters. Ambrose Bierce The Devi
Page 77 and 78: along the line of desire. Sir Laven
Page 79 and 80: the price of the cow that you canno
Page 83 and 84: The loafing herd winds slowly o'er
Page 85 and 86: "This is the end," the sick man sai
Page 87 and 88: activity. There are three sexes; ma
Page 91 and 92: A rite permitting Satan to enslave
Page 97 and 98: A leech consoled the weepers: He sp
Page 99 and 100: Confirming the decree of Fate. From
Page 109 and 110: To bind the chains about her feet A
Page 113 and 114: To bear to happy hunting‐grounds
Page 115 and 116: GENTEEL, adj. Refined, after the fa
Page 117 and 118: He wildly brushed away, and then He
Page 119 and 120:
Page 121 and 122:
GORGON, n. The Gorgon was a maiden
Page 123 and 124:
Page 125 and 126:
The 'Possum said: "I'm great‐‐b
Page 127 and 128:
Page 129 and 130:
Page 131 and 132:
Page 133 and 134:
A tithe of all that we collect Will
Page 135 and 136:
Page 137 and 138:
And the truth of it I aver: Who dif
Page 139 and 140:
Page 141 and 142:
Page 143 and 144:
Page 145 and 146:
anthropoid poets. Ambrose Bierce Th
Page 147 and 148:
Page 149 and 150:
new sins and promotes the growth of
Page 151 and 152:
So modest a man in all Ispahan, Ove
Page 153 and 154:
Page 155 and 156:
His tale he told with a solemn face
Page 157 and 158:
Page 159 and 160:
With clamor from the trees o'erhead
Page 161 and 162:
stately courtesy are altogether sup
Page 163 and 164:
"I would be, dear, but it is not wo
Page 165 and 166:
Page 167 and 168:
You slip on a peel of banana brown.
Page 169 and 170:
Page 171 and 172:
the dust brushed off him Oct. 3, 18
Page 173 and 174:
Page 175 and 176:
So close their intimacy grew One pa
Page 177 and 178:
Page 179 and 180:
She made the fool a duke, in hope W
Page 181 and 182:
Murmuring: "Well, at any rate, My n
Page 183 and 184:
'tis spoken To the succeeding royal
Page 185 and 186:
Brave Knights Kennelers then shall
Page 187 and 188:
Page 189 and 190:
had influence at court. (_Vide supr
Page 191 and 192:
Jack Satan smelts the dead to make
Page 193 and 194:
Page 195 and 196:
Page 197 and 198:
As he drew the lace she made a grim
Page 199 and 200:
Page 201 and 202:
Page 203 and 204:
And sacked himself strangely in che
Page 205 and 206:
Here Huntington's ashes long have l
Page 207 and 208:
Page 209 and 210:
It lasted one whole season! The spa
Page 211 and 212:
thoughtless spectators. Ambrose Bie
Page 213 and 214:
Page 215 and 216:
Page 217 and 218:
Page 219 and 220:
Post‐mortem inscription, But M is
Page 221 and 222:
pursuit is one in which the thing p
Page 223 and 224:
Into the aristocracy of crime. O, w
Page 225 and 226:
Page 227 and 228:
Page 229 and 230:
Page 231 and 232:
J.G. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s D
Page 233 and 234:
Page 235 and 236:
to its ashes‐‐some of which hav
Page 237 and 238:
Page 239 and 240:
have only to find it. Ambrose Bierc
Page 241 and 242:
Page 243 and 244:
understanding. A tyranny tempered b
Page 245 and 246:
Of a perfectly splendid story. 'Twa
Page 247 and 248:
Thy great invention, the unfatal fe
Page 249 and 250:
as "benefactions." Ambrose Bierce T
Page 251 and 252:
intellectual debility. Ambrose Bier
Page 253 and 254:
Page 255 and 256:
Page 257 and 258:
Rev. Dr. Mucker (in a funeral sermo
Page 259 and 260:
Page 261 and 262:
Page 263 and 264:
Worgum Slupsky Ambrose Bierce The D
Page 265 and 266:
Page 267 and 268:
Page 269 and 270:
Page 271 and 272:
sweetness of his personal character
Page 273 and 274:
Page 275 and 276:
Page 277 and 278:
Page 279 and 280:
His learning and breeding; By what
Page 281 and 282:
it. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Di
Page 283 and 284:
Page 285 and 286:
Page 287 and 288:
Page 289 and 290:
Page 291 and 292:
To Leonard's resignation‐‐ His
Page 293 and 294:
While they were turning him on t'ot
Page 295 and 296:
evicting them. Ambrose Bierce The D
Page 297 and 298:
Page 299 and 300:
Page 301 and 302:
Page 303 and 304:
Page 305 and 306:
By guard unparried as by flight uns
Page 307 and 308:
Page 309 and 310:
For it's been a fortnight broke." T
Page 311 and 312:
Or at leastwise not as such. Moral
Page 313 and 314:
Page 315 and 316:
A man is known by the company that
Page 317 and 318:
All frosted there in the shine o' t
Page 319 and 320:
Page 321 and 322:
That comic pencils trace‐‐ Your
Page 323 and 324:
(With precious stones 'twas weighte
Page 325 and 326:
Whom Dispossession, with alluring w
Page 327 and 328:
"That Badman John must cease this t
Page 329 and 330:
Good‐Lording and O‐mying, Her r
Page 331 and 332:
Page 333 and 334:
Page 335 and 336:
Page 337 and 338:
Page 339 and 340:
Page 341 and 342:
Page 343 and 344:
And there deliriously fed As fast a
Page 345 and 346:
All rascals may at will invade: Ben
Page 347 and 348:
Page 349 and 350:
no cat. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’
Page 351 and 352:
Page 353 and 354:
A President not strenuously bent On
Page 355 and 356:
Page 357 and 358:
Page 359 and 360:
U Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
Page 361 and 362:
UN‐AMERICAN, adj. Wicked, intoler
Page 363 and 364:
"I beg your pardon, sir," he said;
Page 365 and 366:
Hannibal Hunsiker VIRTUES, n.pl. Ce
Page 367 and 368:
Anonymus Bink Ambrose Bierce The De
Page 369 and 370:
Page 371 and 372:
To entoken and give warning That my
Page 373 and 374:
Page 375 and 376:
Time to the dead so all unreckoned
Page 377 and 378:
Y Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
Page 379 and 380:
Page 381 and 382:
Page 383:
show all

THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bierce - Sunny Hills High School

You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles

Delete template?

Save as template?