THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bierce - Sunny Hills High School

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Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary Rear‐Admiral Schley and Representative Charles F. Joy were standing near the Peace Monument, in Washington, discussing the question, Is success a failure? Mr. Joy suddenly broke off in the middle of an eloquent sentence, exclaiming: "Hello! I've heard that band before. Santlemann's, I think." "I don't hear any band," said Schley. "Come to think, I don't either," said Joy; "but I see General Miles coming down the avenue, and that pageant always affects me in the same way as a brass band. One has to scrutinize one's impressions pretty closely, or one will mistake their origin." While the Admiral was digesting this hasty meal of philosophy General Miles passed in review, a spectacle of impressive dignity. When the tail of the seeming procession had passed and the two observers had recovered from the transient blindness caused by its effulgence‐‐ "He seems to be enjoying himself," said the Admiral. "There is nothing," assented Joy, thoughtfully, "that he enjoys one‐half so well." Page | 334
Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary The illustrious statesman, Champ Clark, once lived about a mile from the village of Jebigue, in Missouri. One day he rode into town on a favorite mule, and, hitching the beast on the sunny side of a street, in front of a saloon, he went inside in his character of teetotaler, to apprise the barkeeper that wine is a mocker. It was a dreadfully hot day. Pretty soon a neighbor came in and seeing Clark, said: "Champ, it is not right to leave that mule out there in the sun. He'll roast, sure!‐‐he was smoking as I passed him." "O, he's all right," said Clark, lightly; "he's an inveterate smoker." The neighbor took a lemonade, but shook his head and repeated that it was not right. He was a conspirator. There had been a fire the night before: a stable just around the corner had burned and a number of horses had put on their immortality, among them a young colt, which was roasted to a rich nut‐brown. Some of the boys had turned Mr. Clark's mule loose and substituted the mortal part of the colt. Presently another Page | 335
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THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bier
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A Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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As I said, And the books of the sag
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ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of ca
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accounts. Ambrose Bierce The Devil
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Jehal Dai Lupe B Ambrose Bierce The
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Jorace And resolutely thump and wha
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The man who taketh a steam bath He
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Why didn't he work? He would even h
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She thought it a crow, but it turn
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C Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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To further proceedings in its behal
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"God keep you, strange," I exclaime
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To thrifty J. Macpherson; "See me
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May fleas by the bushel inhabit the
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ladder. Fiercely the battle raged a
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The missiles that he threw. Orrin G
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And finds at last he might as well
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The west wind, rising, made him vee
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That brings the noisiest to book An
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For big ideas Heaven has little roo
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Israfel Brown Ambrose Bierce The De
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Dissenters. Ambrose Bierce The Devi
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along the line of desire. Sir Laven
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the price of the cow that you canno
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The loafing herd winds slowly o'er
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"This is the end," the sick man sai
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activity. There are three sexes; ma
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A rite permitting Satan to enslave
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A leech consoled the weepers: He sp
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Confirming the decree of Fate. From
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To bind the chains about her feet A
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To bear to happy hunting‐grounds
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GENTEEL, adj. Refined, after the fa
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He wildly brushed away, and then He
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GORGON, n. The Gorgon was a maiden
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The 'Possum said: "I'm great‐‐b
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A tithe of all that we collect Will
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And the truth of it I aver: Who dif
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anthropoid poets. Ambrose Bierce Th
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new sins and promotes the growth of
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So modest a man in all Ispahan, Ove
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His tale he told with a solemn face
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With clamor from the trees o'erhead
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stately courtesy are altogether sup
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"I would be, dear, but it is not wo
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You slip on a peel of banana brown.
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the dust brushed off him Oct. 3, 18
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So close their intimacy grew One pa
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She made the fool a duke, in hope W
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Murmuring: "Well, at any rate, My n
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'tis spoken To the succeeding royal
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Brave Knights Kennelers then shall
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had influence at court. (_Vide supr
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Jack Satan smelts the dead to make
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As he drew the lace she made a grim
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And sacked himself strangely in che
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Here Huntington's ashes long have l
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It lasted one whole season! The spa
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thoughtless spectators. Ambrose Bie
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Post‐mortem inscription, But M is
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pursuit is one in which the thing p
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Into the aristocracy of crime. O, w
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J.G. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s D
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to its ashes‐‐some of which hav
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have only to find it. Ambrose Bierc
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understanding. A tyranny tempered b
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Of a perfectly splendid story. 'Twa
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Thy great invention, the unfatal fe
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as "benefactions." Ambrose Bierce T
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intellectual debility. Ambrose Bier
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Rev. Dr. Mucker (in a funeral sermo
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Worgum Slupsky Ambrose Bierce The D
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sweetness of his personal character
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His learning and breeding; By what
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it. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Di
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Page 291 and 292: To Leonard's resignation‐‐ His
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Page 295 and 296: evicting them. Ambrose Bierce The D
Page 305 and 306: By guard unparried as by flight uns
Page 309 and 310: For it's been a fortnight broke." T
Page 311 and 312: Or at leastwise not as such. Moral
Page 315 and 316: A man is known by the company that
Page 317 and 318: All frosted there in the shine o' t
Page 321 and 322: That comic pencils trace‐‐ Your
Page 323 and 324: (With precious stones 'twas weighte
Page 325 and 326: Whom Dispossession, with alluring w
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Page 329 and 330: Good‐Lording and O‐mying, Her r
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Page 343 and 344: And there deliriously fed As fast a
Page 345 and 346: All rascals may at will invade: Ben
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Page 361 and 362: UN‐AMERICAN, adj. Wicked, intoler
Page 363 and 364: "I beg your pardon, sir," he said;
Page 365 and 366: Hannibal Hunsiker VIRTUES, n.pl. Ce
Page 367 and 368: Anonymus Bink Ambrose Bierce The De
Page 371 and 372: To entoken and give warning That my
Page 375 and 376: Time to the dead so all unreckoned
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THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bierce - Sunny Hills High School

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