THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bierce - Sunny Hills High School

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Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary the great gastronome, "that I did not say I was eating my dinner, but enjoying it. I had dined an hour before." EAVESDROP, v.i. Secretly to overhear a catalogue of the crimes and vices of another or yourself. A lady with one of her ears applied To an open keyhole heard, inside, Two female gossips in converse free‐‐ The subject engaging them was she. "I think," said one, "and my husband thinks That she's a prying, inquisitive minx!" As soon as no more of it she could hear The lady, indignant, removed her ear. "I will not stay," she said, with a pout, "To hear my character lied about!" Gopete Sherany ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity. ECONOMY, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for Page | 78
the price of the cow that you cannot afford. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary EDIBLE, adj. Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm. EDITOR, n. A person who combines the judicial functions of Minos, Rhadamanthus and Aeacus, but is placable with an obolus; a severely virtuous censor, but so charitable withal that he tolerates the virtues of others and the vices of himself; who flings about him the splintering lightning and sturdy thunders of admonition till he resembles a bunch of firecrackers petulantly uttering his mind at the tail of a dog; then straightway murmurs a mild, melodious lay, soft as the cooing of a donkey intoning its prayer to the evening star. Master of mysteries and lord of law, high‐pinnacled upon the throne of thought, his face suffused with the dim splendors of the Transfiguration, his legs intertwisted and his tongue a‐cheek, the editor spills his will along the paper and cuts it off in lengths to suit. And at intervals from behind the veil of the temple is heard the voice of the foreman demanding three inches of wit and six lines of religious meditation, or bidding him turn off the wisdom and whack up some pathos. O, the Lord of Law on the Throne of Thought, Page | 79
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THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bier
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A Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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As I said, And the books of the sag
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ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of ca
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accounts. Ambrose Bierce The Devil
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Jehal Dai Lupe B Ambrose Bierce The
Page 27 and 28: Jorace And resolutely thump and wha
Page 29 and 30: The man who taketh a steam bath He
Page 31 and 32: Why didn't he work? He would even h
Page 33 and 34: She thought it a crow, but it turn
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Page 39 and 40: C Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
Page 43 and 44: To further proceedings in its behal
Page 47 and 48: "God keep you, strange," I exclaime
Page 49 and 50: To thrifty J. Macpherson; "See me
Page 51 and 52: May fleas by the bushel inhabit the
Page 55 and 56: ladder. Fiercely the battle raged a
Page 57 and 58: The missiles that he threw. Orrin G
Page 63 and 64: And finds at last he might as well
Page 65 and 66: The west wind, rising, made him vee
Page 69 and 70: That brings the noisiest to book An
Page 71 and 72: For big ideas Heaven has little roo
Page 73 and 74: Israfel Brown Ambrose Bierce The De
Page 75 and 76: Dissenters. Ambrose Bierce The Devi
Page 77: along the line of desire. Sir Laven
Page 83 and 84: The loafing herd winds slowly o'er
Page 85 and 86: "This is the end," the sick man sai
Page 87 and 88: activity. There are three sexes; ma
Page 91 and 92: A rite permitting Satan to enslave
Page 97 and 98: A leech consoled the weepers: He sp
Page 99 and 100: Confirming the decree of Fate. From
Page 109 and 110: To bind the chains about her feet A
Page 113 and 114: To bear to happy hunting‐grounds
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Page 117 and 118: He wildly brushed away, and then He
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A tithe of all that we collect Will
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And the truth of it I aver: Who dif
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anthropoid poets. Ambrose Bierce Th
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new sins and promotes the growth of
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So modest a man in all Ispahan, Ove
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His tale he told with a solemn face
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With clamor from the trees o'erhead
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stately courtesy are altogether sup
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"I would be, dear, but it is not wo
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You slip on a peel of banana brown.
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the dust brushed off him Oct. 3, 18
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So close their intimacy grew One pa
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She made the fool a duke, in hope W
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Murmuring: "Well, at any rate, My n
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'tis spoken To the succeeding royal
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Brave Knights Kennelers then shall
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had influence at court. (_Vide supr
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Jack Satan smelts the dead to make
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As he drew the lace she made a grim
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And sacked himself strangely in che
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Here Huntington's ashes long have l
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It lasted one whole season! The spa
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thoughtless spectators. Ambrose Bie
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Post‐mortem inscription, But M is
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pursuit is one in which the thing p
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Into the aristocracy of crime. O, w
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J.G. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s D
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to its ashes‐‐some of which hav
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have only to find it. Ambrose Bierc
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understanding. A tyranny tempered b
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Of a perfectly splendid story. 'Twa
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Thy great invention, the unfatal fe
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as "benefactions." Ambrose Bierce T
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intellectual debility. Ambrose Bier
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Rev. Dr. Mucker (in a funeral sermo
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Worgum Slupsky Ambrose Bierce The D
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sweetness of his personal character
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His learning and breeding; By what
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it. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Di
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To Leonard's resignation‐‐ His
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While they were turning him on t'ot
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evicting them. Ambrose Bierce The D
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By guard unparried as by flight uns
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For it's been a fortnight broke." T
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Or at leastwise not as such. Moral
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A man is known by the company that
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All frosted there in the shine o' t
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That comic pencils trace‐‐ Your
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(With precious stones 'twas weighte
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Whom Dispossession, with alluring w
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"That Badman John must cease this t
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Good‐Lording and O‐mying, Her r
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And there deliriously fed As fast a
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All rascals may at will invade: Ben
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no cat. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’
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A President not strenuously bent On
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U Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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UN‐AMERICAN, adj. Wicked, intoler
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"I beg your pardon, sir," he said;
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Hannibal Hunsiker VIRTUES, n.pl. Ce
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Anonymus Bink Ambrose Bierce The De
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To entoken and give warning That my
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Time to the dead so all unreckoned
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Y Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bierce - Sunny Hills High School

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