THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bierce - Sunny Hills High School

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"'Twas Predestination," cried one‐‐"for the Lord Decreed he should fall of his own accord." "Not so‐‐'twas Free will," the other maintained, Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary "Which led him to choose what the Lord had ordained." So fierce and so fiery grew the debate That nothing but bloodshed their dudgeon could sate; So off flew their cassocks and caps to the ground And, moved by the spirit, their hands went round. Ere either had proved his theology right By winning, or even beginning, the fight, A gray old professor of Latin came by, A staff in his hand and a scowl in his eye, And learning the cause of their quarrel (for still As they clumsily sparred they disputed with skill Of foreordination freedom of will) Cried: "Sirrahs! this reasonless warfare compose: Atwixt ye's no difference worthy of blows. The sects ye belong to‐‐I'm ready to swear Ye wrongly interpret the names that they bear. _You_‐‐Infralapsarian son of a clown!‐‐ Should only contend that Adam slipped down; While _you_‐‐you Supralapsarian pup!‐‐ Should nothing aver but that Adam slipped up. It's all the same whether up or down Page | 166
You slip on a peel of banana brown. Even Adam analyzed not his blunder, But thought he had slipped on a peal of thunder! G.J. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary INGRATE, n. One who receives a benefit from another, or is otherwise an object of charity. "All men are ingrates," sneered the cynic. "Nay," The good philanthropist replied; "I did great service to a man one day Who never since has cursed me to repay, Nor vilified." "Ho!" cried the cynic, "lead me to him straight‐‐ With veneration I am overcome, And fain would have his blessing." "Sad your fate‐‐ He cannot bless you, for AI grieve to state Ariel Selp This man is dumb." Page | 167
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THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bier
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A Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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As I said, And the books of the sag
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ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of ca
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accounts. Ambrose Bierce The Devil
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Jehal Dai Lupe B Ambrose Bierce The
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Jorace And resolutely thump and wha
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The man who taketh a steam bath He
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Why didn't he work? He would even h
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She thought it a crow, but it turn
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C Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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To further proceedings in its behal
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"God keep you, strange," I exclaime
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To thrifty J. Macpherson; "See me
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May fleas by the bushel inhabit the
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ladder. Fiercely the battle raged a
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The missiles that he threw. Orrin G
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And finds at last he might as well
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The west wind, rising, made him vee
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That brings the noisiest to book An
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For big ideas Heaven has little roo
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Israfel Brown Ambrose Bierce The De
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Dissenters. Ambrose Bierce The Devi
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along the line of desire. Sir Laven
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the price of the cow that you canno
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The loafing herd winds slowly o'er
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"This is the end," the sick man sai
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activity. There are three sexes; ma
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A rite permitting Satan to enslave
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A leech consoled the weepers: He sp
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Confirming the decree of Fate. From
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To bind the chains about her feet A
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To bear to happy hunting‐grounds
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Page 121 and 122: GORGON, n. The Gorgon was a maiden
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Page 133 and 134: A tithe of all that we collect Will
Page 137 and 138: And the truth of it I aver: Who dif
Page 145 and 146: anthropoid poets. Ambrose Bierce Th
Page 149 and 150: new sins and promotes the growth of
Page 151 and 152: So modest a man in all Ispahan, Ove
Page 155 and 156: His tale he told with a solemn face
Page 159 and 160: With clamor from the trees o'erhead
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Page 163 and 164: "I would be, dear, but it is not wo
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Page 171 and 172: the dust brushed off him Oct. 3, 18
Page 175 and 176: So close their intimacy grew One pa
Page 179 and 180: She made the fool a duke, in hope W
Page 181 and 182: Murmuring: "Well, at any rate, My n
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Page 185 and 186: Brave Knights Kennelers then shall
Page 189 and 190: had influence at court. (_Vide supr
Page 191 and 192: Jack Satan smelts the dead to make
Page 197 and 198: As he drew the lace she made a grim
Page 203 and 204: And sacked himself strangely in che
Page 205 and 206: Here Huntington's ashes long have l
Page 209 and 210: It lasted one whole season! The spa
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Post‐mortem inscription, But M is
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pursuit is one in which the thing p
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Into the aristocracy of crime. O, w
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J.G. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s D
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to its ashes‐‐some of which hav
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have only to find it. Ambrose Bierc
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understanding. A tyranny tempered b
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Of a perfectly splendid story. 'Twa
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Thy great invention, the unfatal fe
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as "benefactions." Ambrose Bierce T
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intellectual debility. Ambrose Bier
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Rev. Dr. Mucker (in a funeral sermo
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Worgum Slupsky Ambrose Bierce The D
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sweetness of his personal character
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His learning and breeding; By what
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it. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Di
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To Leonard's resignation‐‐ His
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While they were turning him on t'ot
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evicting them. Ambrose Bierce The D
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By guard unparried as by flight uns
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For it's been a fortnight broke." T
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Or at leastwise not as such. Moral
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A man is known by the company that
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All frosted there in the shine o' t
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That comic pencils trace‐‐ Your
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(With precious stones 'twas weighte
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Whom Dispossession, with alluring w
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"That Badman John must cease this t
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Good‐Lording and O‐mying, Her r
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And there deliriously fed As fast a
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All rascals may at will invade: Ben
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no cat. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’
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A President not strenuously bent On
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U Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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UN‐AMERICAN, adj. Wicked, intoler
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"I beg your pardon, sir," he said;
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Hannibal Hunsiker VIRTUES, n.pl. Ce
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Anonymus Bink Ambrose Bierce The De
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To entoken and give warning That my
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Time to the dead so all unreckoned
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Y Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bierce - Sunny Hills High School

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