THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bierce - Sunny Hills High School

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Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary LAUGHTER, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable. Liability to attacks of laughter is one of the characteristics distinguishing man from the animals‐‐ these being not only inaccessible to the provocation of his example, but impregnable to the microbes having original jurisdiction in bestowal of the disease. Whether laughter could be imparted to animals by inoculation from the human patient is a question that has not been answered by experimentation. Dr. Meir Witchell holds that the infection character of laughter is due to the instantaneous fermentation of _sputa_ diffused in a spray. From this peculiarity he names the disorder _Convulsio spargens_. LAUREATE, adj. Crowned with leaves of the laurel. In England the Poet Laureate is an officer of the sovereign's court, acting as dancing skeleton at every royal feast and singing‐mute at every royal funeral. Of all incumbents of that high office, Robert Southey had the most notable knack at drugging the Samson of public joy and cutting his hair to the quick; and he had an artistic color‐sense which enabled him so to blacken a public grief as to give it the aspect of a national crime. LAUREL, n. The _laurus_, a vegetable dedicated to Apollo, and formerly defoliated to wreathe the brows of victors and such poets as Page | 188
had influence at court. (_Vide supra._) LAW, n. Once Law was sitting on the bench, And Mercy knelt a‐weeping. "Clear out!" he cried, "disordered wench! Nor come before me creeping. Upon your knees if you appear, 'Tis plain your have no standing here." Then Justice came. His Honor cried: "_Your_ status?‐‐devil seize you!" "_Amica curiae,_" she replied‐‐ "Friend of the court, so please you." "Begone!" he shouted‐‐"there's the door‐‐ I never saw your face before!" G.J. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary LAWFUL, adj. Compatible with the will of a judge having jurisdiction. LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law. Page | 189
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THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bier
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A Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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As I said, And the books of the sag
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ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of ca
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accounts. Ambrose Bierce The Devil
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Jehal Dai Lupe B Ambrose Bierce The
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Jorace And resolutely thump and wha
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The man who taketh a steam bath He
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Why didn't he work? He would even h
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She thought it a crow, but it turn
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C Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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To further proceedings in its behal
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"God keep you, strange," I exclaime
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To thrifty J. Macpherson; "See me
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May fleas by the bushel inhabit the
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ladder. Fiercely the battle raged a
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The missiles that he threw. Orrin G
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And finds at last he might as well
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The west wind, rising, made him vee
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That brings the noisiest to book An
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For big ideas Heaven has little roo
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Israfel Brown Ambrose Bierce The De
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Dissenters. Ambrose Bierce The Devi
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along the line of desire. Sir Laven
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the price of the cow that you canno
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The loafing herd winds slowly o'er
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"This is the end," the sick man sai
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activity. There are three sexes; ma
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A rite permitting Satan to enslave
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A leech consoled the weepers: He sp
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Confirming the decree of Fate. From
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To bind the chains about her feet A
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To bear to happy hunting‐grounds
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GENTEEL, adj. Refined, after the fa
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He wildly brushed away, and then He
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GORGON, n. The Gorgon was a maiden
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The 'Possum said: "I'm great‐‐b
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A tithe of all that we collect Will
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Page 137 and 138: And the truth of it I aver: Who dif
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Page 145 and 146: anthropoid poets. Ambrose Bierce Th
Page 149 and 150: new sins and promotes the growth of
Page 151 and 152: So modest a man in all Ispahan, Ove
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Page 159 and 160: With clamor from the trees o'erhead
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Page 163 and 164: "I would be, dear, but it is not wo
Page 167 and 168: You slip on a peel of banana brown.
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Page 175 and 176: So close their intimacy grew One pa
Page 179 and 180: She made the fool a duke, in hope W
Page 181 and 182: Murmuring: "Well, at any rate, My n
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Page 185 and 186: Brave Knights Kennelers then shall
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Page 191 and 192: Jack Satan smelts the dead to make
Page 197 and 198: As he drew the lace she made a grim
Page 203 and 204: And sacked himself strangely in che
Page 205 and 206: Here Huntington's ashes long have l
Page 209 and 210: It lasted one whole season! The spa
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Page 223 and 224: Into the aristocracy of crime. O, w
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have only to find it. Ambrose Bierc
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understanding. A tyranny tempered b
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Of a perfectly splendid story. 'Twa
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Thy great invention, the unfatal fe
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as "benefactions." Ambrose Bierce T
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intellectual debility. Ambrose Bier
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Rev. Dr. Mucker (in a funeral sermo
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Worgum Slupsky Ambrose Bierce The D
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sweetness of his personal character
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His learning and breeding; By what
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it. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Di
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To Leonard's resignation‐‐ His
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While they were turning him on t'ot
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evicting them. Ambrose Bierce The D
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By guard unparried as by flight uns
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For it's been a fortnight broke." T
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Or at leastwise not as such. Moral
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A man is known by the company that
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All frosted there in the shine o' t
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That comic pencils trace‐‐ Your
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(With precious stones 'twas weighte
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Whom Dispossession, with alluring w
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"That Badman John must cease this t
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Good‐Lording and O‐mying, Her r
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And there deliriously fed As fast a
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All rascals may at will invade: Ben
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no cat. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’
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A President not strenuously bent On
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UN‐AMERICAN, adj. Wicked, intoler
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"I beg your pardon, sir," he said;
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Hannibal Hunsiker VIRTUES, n.pl. Ce
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Anonymus Bink Ambrose Bierce The De
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To entoken and give warning That my
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Time to the dead so all unreckoned
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Y Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bierce - Sunny Hills High School

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