THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bierce - Sunny Hills High School

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Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary anthropomorphous immortal, but still a pyrophile. Salamanders are now believed to be extinct, the last one of which we have an account having been seen in Carcassonne by the Abbe Belloc, who exorcised it with a bucket of holy water. SARCOPHAGUS, n. Among the Greeks a coffin which being made of a certain kind of carnivorous stone, had the peculiar property of devouring the body placed in it. The sarcophagus known to modern obsequiographers is commonly a product of the carpenter's art. SATAN, n. One of the Creator's lamentable mistakes, repented in sashcloth and axes. Being instated as an archangel, Satan made himself multifariously objectionable and was finally expelled from Heaven. Halfway in his descent he paused, bent his head in thought a moment and at last went back. "There is one favor that I should like to ask," said he. "Name it." "Man, I understand, is about to be created. He will need laws." "What, wretch! you his appointed adversary, charged from the dawn of eternity with hatred of his soul‐‐you ask for the right to make his laws?" Page | 312
Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictionary "Pardon; what I have to ask is that he be permitted to make them himself." It was so ordered. SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam. SATIRE, n. An obsolete kind of literary composition in which the vices and follies of the author's enemies were expounded with imperfect tenderness. In this country satire never had more than a sickly and uncertain existence, for the soul of it is wit, wherein we are dolefully deficient, the humor that we mistake for it, like all humor, being tolerant and sympathetic. Moreover, although Americans are "endowed by their Creator" with abundant vice and folly, it is not generally known that these are reprehensible qualities, wherefore the satirist is popularly regarded as a soul‐spirited knave, and his ever victim's outcry for codefendants evokes a national assent. Hail Satire! be thy praises ever sung In the dead language of a mummy's tongue, For thou thyself art dead, and damned as well‐‐ Thy spirit (usefully employed) in Hell. Page | 313
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THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bier
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A Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dictio
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As I said, And the books of the sag
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ACCOUNTABILITY, n. The mother of ca
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accounts. Ambrose Bierce The Devil
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Jehal Dai Lupe B Ambrose Bierce The
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Jorace And resolutely thump and wha
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The man who taketh a steam bath He
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Why didn't he work? He would even h
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She thought it a crow, but it turn
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C Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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To further proceedings in its behal
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"God keep you, strange," I exclaime
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To thrifty J. Macpherson; "See me
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May fleas by the bushel inhabit the
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ladder. Fiercely the battle raged a
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The missiles that he threw. Orrin G
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And finds at last he might as well
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The west wind, rising, made him vee
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That brings the noisiest to book An
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For big ideas Heaven has little roo
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Israfel Brown Ambrose Bierce The De
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Dissenters. Ambrose Bierce The Devi
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along the line of desire. Sir Laven
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the price of the cow that you canno
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The loafing herd winds slowly o'er
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"This is the end," the sick man sai
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activity. There are three sexes; ma
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A rite permitting Satan to enslave
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A leech consoled the weepers: He sp
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Confirming the decree of Fate. From
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To bind the chains about her feet A
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To bear to happy hunting‐grounds
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GENTEEL, adj. Refined, after the fa
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He wildly brushed away, and then He
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GORGON, n. The Gorgon was a maiden
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The 'Possum said: "I'm great‐‐b
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A tithe of all that we collect Will
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And the truth of it I aver: Who dif
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anthropoid poets. Ambrose Bierce Th
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new sins and promotes the growth of
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So modest a man in all Ispahan, Ove
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His tale he told with a solemn face
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With clamor from the trees o'erhead
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stately courtesy are altogether sup
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"I would be, dear, but it is not wo
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You slip on a peel of banana brown.
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the dust brushed off him Oct. 3, 18
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So close their intimacy grew One pa
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She made the fool a duke, in hope W
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Murmuring: "Well, at any rate, My n
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'tis spoken To the succeeding royal
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Brave Knights Kennelers then shall
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had influence at court. (_Vide supr
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Jack Satan smelts the dead to make
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As he drew the lace she made a grim
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And sacked himself strangely in che
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Here Huntington's ashes long have l
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It lasted one whole season! The spa
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thoughtless spectators. Ambrose Bie
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Post‐mortem inscription, But M is
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pursuit is one in which the thing p
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Into the aristocracy of crime. O, w
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J.G. Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s D
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to its ashes‐‐some of which hav
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have only to find it. Ambrose Bierc
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understanding. A tyranny tempered b
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Of a perfectly splendid story. 'Twa
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Thy great invention, the unfatal fe
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as "benefactions." Ambrose Bierce T
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intellectual debility. Ambrose Bier
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Rev. Dr. Mucker (in a funeral sermo
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Page 309 and 310: For it's been a fortnight broke." T
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"I beg your pardon, sir," he said;
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Hannibal Hunsiker VIRTUES, n.pl. Ce
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Anonymus Bink Ambrose Bierce The De
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To entoken and give warning That my
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Time to the dead so all unreckoned
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Y Ambrose Bierce The Devil’s Dict
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THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY Ambrose Bierce - Sunny Hills High School

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