The Thoughts of Marcus Aurelius - College of Stoic Philosophers

294 LjELIUS; OR
or perhaps of some ambitious statesman, who, a stranger
to every nobler sentiment of the human heart, had no
other object in forming his connexions but as they might
prove conducive to the increase or establishment of his
power. It is
impossible certainly to entertain a friend
ship for any man of whom you cherish so unfavourable an
opinion as to suppose he may hereafter give you cause to
become his enemy. In reality, if this axiom were justly
founded, and it be right to sit thus loose in our affections,
we ought to wish that our friend might give us frequent
occasions to complain of his conduct, to lament whenever
he acted in a laudable manner, and to envy every ad
vantage that might attend him, lest unhappily he should
lay too strong a hold on our heart. This unworthy rule,
therefore, whoever was the author of it, is
evidently
calculated for the utter extirpation of true amity. The
more rational advice would have been, as Scipio remarked,
to be always so cautious in forming friendships as never
to place our esteem and affections where there was a
probability of their being converted into the opposite
sentiments. Rut, at all events, if we should be so un
fortunate as to make an improper choice, it were wiser,
he thought, not to look forward to possible contingencies
than to be always acting upon the defensive, and painfully
guarding against future dissensions.
I think, then, the only measures that can be properly
recommended respecting our general conduct in the
article of friendship is, in the first place, to be careful that
we form the connexion with men of strict and irreproach
able mariners ; and, in the next, frankly to lay open to
each other all our thoughts, inclinations, and purposes
without the least caution, reserve, or disguise. I will
venture even to add that in cases in which the life or good
fame of a friend is concerned it may be allowable to deviate
a little from the path of strict right in order to comply
with his desires ; provided, however, that by this com-