The Thoughts of Marcus Aurelius - College of Stoic Philosophers
The Thoughts of Marcus Aurelius - College of Stoic Philosophers
The Thoughts of Marcus Aurelius - College of Stoic Philosophers
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AN ESSAY ON FRIENDSHIP 295<br />
pliance our own character be not materially affected.<br />
And this is the largest concession that should be made<br />
to friendship ;<br />
for the good opinion <strong>of</strong> the public ought<br />
never to be lightly esteemed, nor the general affection <strong>of</strong><br />
our fellow-citizens considered as a matter <strong>of</strong> little im<br />
portance in carrying on the great affairs <strong>of</strong> the world.<br />
Popularity, indeed, if purchased at the expense <strong>of</strong> base<br />
condescensions to the vices or the follies <strong>of</strong> the people,<br />
is a disgrace to the possessor, but when it is the just and<br />
natural result <strong>of</strong> a laudable and patriotic conduct, it is<br />
an acquisition which no wise man will ever contemn.<br />
But to return to Scipio. Friendship was his favourite<br />
topic, and I have frequently heard him remark that there<br />
is no article in which mankind usually act with so much<br />
negligence as in what relates to this connexion. Every<br />
one, he observed, informs himself with great exactness <strong>of</strong><br />
what numbers his flocks and his herds consist, but who<br />
it that endeavours to ascertain his real friends with the<br />
is<br />
same requisite precision<br />
1<br />
Thus, likewise, in choosing the<br />
former much caution is<br />
commonly used in order to discover<br />
those significant marks which denote their proper qualities.<br />
Whereas, in selecting the latter, it is seldom that any great<br />
attention is exerted to discern those moral signatures<br />
which indicate the qualifications necessary to constitute<br />
a friend.<br />
One <strong>of</strong> the principal ingredients to form that character<br />
is a steadiness and constancy <strong>of</strong> temper. This virtue,<br />
it must be confessed, is not very generally to be found<br />
other means to discover<br />
among mankind, nor is there any<br />
in whose bosom it resides than experience. But as this<br />
experience cannot fully be acquired till<br />
the connexion is<br />
already formed, affection is<br />
apt to take the lead <strong>of</strong> judg<br />
ment, and render a previous trial impossible. It is the<br />
part <strong>of</strong> prudence, therefore, to restrain a predilection<br />
from carrying us precipitately into the arms <strong>of</strong> a new<br />
friend before we have, in some decree at least, put his
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