The Thoughts of Marcus Aurelius - College of Stoic Philosophers
The Thoughts of Marcus Aurelius - College of Stoic Philosophers
The Thoughts of Marcus Aurelius - College of Stoic Philosophers
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<strong>The</strong> <strong>of</strong>fices<br />
AN ESSAY ON FRIENDSHIP 309<br />
<strong>of</strong> friendship are so numerous, and <strong>of</strong> such<br />
different kinds, that many little disgusts may<br />
the exercise <strong>of</strong> them, which a man <strong>of</strong> true good<br />
arise in<br />
sense will<br />
either avoid, extenuate, or be contented to bear, as the<br />
nature and circumstances <strong>of</strong> the case may render most<br />
expedient. But there is one particular duty which may<br />
frequently occur, and which he will at all hazards <strong>of</strong><br />
<strong>of</strong>fence discharge, as it is never to be superseded con<br />
sistently with the truth and fidelity he owes to the con<br />
nexion ;<br />
I mean the duty <strong>of</strong> admonishing, and even<br />
reproving, his friend, an <strong>of</strong>fice which, whenever it is<br />
affectionately exercised, should be kindly received. It<br />
must be confessed, however, that the remark <strong>of</strong> my<br />
dramatic friend is too frequently verified, who observes<br />
in his Andria that c obsequiousness conciliates friends,<br />
but truth creates enemies. When truth proves the<br />
bane <strong>of</strong> friendship we may have reason, indeed, to be<br />
sorry for the unnatural consequence ; but we should<br />
have cause to be more sorry<br />
if we suffered a friend by a<br />
culpable indulgence to expose his character to just re<br />
proach. Upon these delicate occasions, however, we<br />
should be particularly careful to deliver our advice or<br />
repro<strong>of</strong> without the least appearance <strong>of</strong> acrimony or<br />
insult. Let our obsequiousness (to repeat the significant<br />
expression <strong>of</strong> Terence) extend as far as gentleness <strong>of</strong><br />
manners and the rules <strong>of</strong> good breeding require but far<br />
;<br />
let it be from seducing us to flatter either vice or mis<br />
conduct, a meanness unworthy, not only <strong>of</strong> every man<br />
who claims to himself the title <strong>of</strong> friend, but <strong>of</strong> every<br />
liberal and ingenuous mind. Shall we live with a friend<br />
upon the same cautious terms we must submit to live<br />
with a tyrant ? Desperate indeed must that man s moral<br />
disorders be who shuts his ears to the voice <strong>of</strong> truth when<br />
delivered by a sincere and affectionate monitor ! It was<br />
a saying <strong>of</strong> Cato (and he had many that well deserve to<br />
be remembered) that some men were more obliged to
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