The Thoughts of Marcus Aurelius - College of Stoic Philosophers

AN ESSAY ON FRIENDSHIP 297
no reliance upon any man who is
totally uninfluenced by
that principle, or in whom it operates but faintly. It is
essential also, in order to form a permanent connexion,
that the object of our choice should not only have the
same general turn of mind with our own, but possess an
open, artless, and ingenuous temper
;
for where any one
of those qualities are wanting, vain would it be to expect
a lasting and faithful attachment. True friendship,
indeed, is absolutely inconsistent with every species of
artifice and duplicity
;
and it is equally impossible it
should be maintained between persons whose dispositions
and general modes of thinking do not perfectly accord.
I must add, as another requisite for that stability I am
speaking of,
that the party should neither be capable of
taking an ill-natured satisfaction in reprehending the
frailties of his friend, nor easily induced to credit those
imputations with which the malice of others may asperse
him.
These reflections sufficiently confirm that position I set
out with in this conversation, when I asserted that true
friendship can only be found among the virtuous ;
for
in the first place, sincerity is so essential a quality in
forming a good or, if you please, a wise man (for they
are convertible terms), that a person of that character
would deem it more generous to be a declared enemy
than to conceal a rancorous heart under a smooth brow ;
and in the next the same generous simplicity of heart
would not only induce him to vindicate his friend against
the accusation of others, but render him incapable of
cherishing in his own breast that little suspicious temper
which is ever apt to take offence and perpetually dis
covering some imaginary violation of amity.
Add to this that his conversation and address ought to
be sweetened with a certain ease and politeness of language
and manners, that wonderfully contribute to heighten
and improve the relish of this intercourse. A solemn
53 J*