booke

women and islamic law 289[bu#ålatuhunna] have the better right to take them back in that period…( Al-Baqara 2:228)Divorced husbands may still have close contacts to their divorcedwives and their children, they may even continue to be the breadwinnerof the family, and in some cases they may even still live inthe same house as the rest of the family, but mostly their (sexual)intimacy with their former wives has stopped. The term that uniquelysignifies this special relationship between a men and a woman isba#l.Since the verse in question (4:128) uses the term ba#l, not zawj, wecan now safely say that contrary to popular belief, it does not discussthe sexual relationship between a wife and her husband. Instead itaddresses a woman’s social relationship with the ba#l provider of thefamily who possesses qiw§ma. Two things that can put a strain onsuch a relationship are mentioned:3. Nushåz: a man becomes a despot and a tyrant to his family, whichresults in (complete) loss of freedom: the woman is not allowed,without his prior consent, to do anything in the household, noteven the smallest things of everyday life. Good leadership (qiw§ma)is thus lost and has turned into bad leadership.4. Neglect: a man does not fulfil his duties: he is absent from work,irresponsibly spends money that he has not earned himself andis—as the Arabs say—‘swept around by the winds of the day’.A woman can respond to this dreadful situation in two ways. Shecan accept it and regard it as God-given. This is, unfortunately, whatmost women in the Arab world do, despite the fact that the Bookencourages them to actively try to seek a way out of the predicament(e.g., ‘there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlementbetween themselves; and such settlement is best…’ [Al-Nis§"4:128]). Or, alternatively, she can refuse to accept it and stronglyobject to his lack of respect, his despotic attitudes, and his neglect ofhis family duties. The Book instructs women what to do in this situation.It resolutely urges women to be firm in their protest and to seek‘a peaceful settlement, for peace is best’ (4:128, AH).Finally, it is absolutely vital to consider those situations in whichan amicable agreement cannot be reached. The text mentions caseswhen ‘men’s souls are swayed by greed’ (4:128). In this context