The Ultimate Body Language Book

wave of the hand in the country is sufficient and even welcomed. Unbeknownst to the city slicker, a
handshake may even raise suspicion or contempt in a rural setting creating all sorts of bad feelings.
Outsiders can often be seen as intruders, as seeming to be selling something or wanting something or
up to no good. Those living in the country infrequently come in contact with people they don’t know
forcing their personal space zones even larger, by as much as three or more feet.
When approaching someone who resides in rural settings, and where a handshake is welcomed, it is
customary to extend your hand forward by bending at the waste and keeping your feet planted.
Extending your hand, but keeping your body as far away as possible shows that you respect their need
for space. How far forward someone prefers to extend their hand is an indicator of their space
requirements. People from the city will often walk forward in attempt to shrink the distance between
their acquaintances and in turn end up bending their elbows as they shake. The opposite is found in
country folk who will keep their arms straight out to maintain distance. Those that shake hands by
thrusting forward are also indicating their need to maintain a larger space buffer. This preference for
space provides a useful bit of information which should be noted.
Chapter 4 – Space and Territory
Status, Context And Personal Space
Status and context affect spatial and proximity rules. For example, bosses are in charge of determining
what level of closeness is appropriate and permitted as it relates to subordinate employees. This isn’t to
say that employees enjoy this arrangement but rather that employees are not permitted to reverse
proximity rules onto employers. Subordinate employees have many roles and one of them is tolerance
of the rules set for them by their seniors. For example, a boss might pat the back of one his employees
or put his or her arm around the new associate as a form of bonding. Reversal of the situation would be
seen as an infringement on the status of the boss. When it comes to touching, a subordinate should
never encroach on the personal space of someone holding a dominant position.
Contextual rules also exist with respect to personal space. In the office, it would be un-acceptable for
sexual partners to touch one another or carry on in front of others. However, in the same office hosting
a year-end business party with all of the same employees and their spouse’s, touching and even kissing
would be common place.
Therefore, status and context are two other factors we should be conscious of as they relate to
proximity and space.