The Ultimate Body Language Book

Chapter 8 – Dominant and Submissive Gestures
Dominance By Setting And Breaking Social
Rules
Rules are always created by, and then in turn, broken by dominant individuals! Dominant individuals
are the rule makers, not the rule followers. It’s sad but true, that police officers enjoy greater luxuries
than regular citizens. Just ask any policemen what they do if the get pulled over for speeding. Do you
really think they get a ticket? I won’t get into absolutes here, but I do personally know two officers who
have explained to me that a flash of the badge gets them off every time. I would expect this to be the
norm, not the exception, but there is no empirical way to be certain.
This sort of logic all starts at home, as parents make and break their own rules routinely. Is it any
surprise that whinny children have whinny parents? Even small children can readily pick-out these
injustices, but since they are still highly dependent on their parents to feed, house and cloth them, they,
put up only a small amount of resistance. As children reach their teenage years, these inconsistencies
are tolerated less and less by them as they tend to set their own course. They are separating themselves
from their parents and taking on their own dominance characteristics, naturally, controlling inconsistent
parents see this as disrespect.
This isn’t unlike what happens when dominant people meet as adults. Dominant people will often
interrupt others or speak over them, casually swear in the wrong company and generally act
inappropriately without fear of consequence. Dominance can also take the form of belittling and
criticizing others, and holding thoughts such as “I’m more important then you”. It can also include
ridiculing others and their possessions, such as their cars or occupations.
Touching also has rules which can be broken in order to set others in their place. A pat on the back can
be disingenuous when used in certain context, whereas a light punch on the shoulder can be uplifting to
a buddy. Punching can be annoying if done repeatedly to exercise control. There is a pretty clear line
between being dominant in a good way versus being belligerent.
Chapter 8 – Dominant and Submissive Gestures
The Dominant Control Their Faces
Extremely dominant individuals will smile far less then subordinate people because their disposition
requires them to do so. They don’t want to appear emotional, because emotions stem from feelings and
dominant people have none! Of course this isn’t entirely true, they do show emotions, but the emotions
they do disclose via facial expressions are limited and usually meant to show that they are reserved and
in control.
Dominant people will use disapproving frowns, snarls or pursed lips. They might squint while in
conversation, or avoid eye contact altogether, or even hold prolonged unblinking eye contact.
Dominant people can also hold a blink for longer periods of time as if to temporarily shut the world
out. To disarm this “extended blinker” try moving one step to the side while they are in mid blink. It is
sure to freak them out!
To summarize, being social isn’t a huge priority to a dominant person, they are more concerned with
maintain control of others around them instead of trying to make friends or maintain strong emotional