The Ultimate Body Language Book

Recommendations

Info

Chapter 12 - Mirroring And Building Of Rapport When Mirroring Creates Flow We’re both “the captain!” Matching speech patterns is an effective way to build rapport and create flow and it includes changing
dialect, speech rate or tempo, pitch, tonality, voice inflection, use of words and even accent. This is what is called the “communication accommodation theory” and it has been heavily researched. It also forms a part of neurolinguistic programming (NLP) which was covered previously. The theory’s main proposition is that during interactions, people modify their communication behaviour and patterns to more closely resemble the person with which they are trying to gain the most from. Gains in this context can include social approval, employment, or to build friendships and rapport. NLP also goes much deeper than just mirroring speech patterns to include mirroring other facets of a person’s traits. The theory says that people can also differentiate their speech patterns so as to appear more dissimilar, and thereby create division in personalities or ideas. As is the case with all forms of mirroring, similarities attract. Whereas a significant portion of mirroring involves body positions, verbal mirroring can also be potent. Accents are immediately recognized and when they appear they immediately conjure thoughts of dissimilarity. Mirroring language patterns is a good way to quickly reduce differences and show a willingness to interact positively. Mirroring in language can include matching humour type, frequency and style. If speech is free of humour, than to connect with that person, dropping humour altogether would be advantageous, but if they lace personal humour or self deprecating humour then using a few jokes yourself can help build a connection. Similarly, matching analogy use, the use of questions, matching chattiness or matter of factness of the conversation, use of hand gestures, eye contact and even sentence structure can build rapport quickly. Far from being a copy-cat game, it’s a subtle matching of the speech patterns preferable to your counterpart and adopting them yourself. Even if we don’t consciously use this technique to build rapport, subconsciously we do it anyway, especially if we like the person. Effective use of NLP can build comfort, relaxation and create familiarity. Perfected, the technique will create instant friendships and lifelong bonds. At worst, its use will lead to a lowering of barriers between people and a greater likelihood of being welcomed. When two people match speech patterns exactly or nearly, we can this “pacing.” Conversation will appear to flow uninterrupted and information will be shared backwards and forwards between the two people. Pacing can include more than just verbal actions. Regulators such as head nods, gestures and micro movements call all work together to create a rhythm. Speed of speech is one important factor to maintain. Speaking too quickly can put pressure on people as they will feel that it is difficult to properly express their views and opinions. Anyone who’s conducted an important interview over the phone with a broken connection with someone they’ve never meet in person knows how hard it is to maintain pacing. The pauses created by the poor connection leads people to jump in to speak despite the fact that the other person hasn’t yet reaching their conclusion. This creates a choppy, disjointed, cumbersome, and even painful conversation. Twins and family members are best at pacing, as are close friends. Rapport is when closeness is developed making people more alike in their thought process, than different. Speech matching is a technique that recognizes the differences in communication styles between people, but rather than dwelling on these differences, forces people to accept and even incorporate these traits into their own speech to quickly build rapport with others. High order NLP in speech and rapport requires much more attention than this book can ever give it, so this brief summary was only meant as a primer for future research. If this kind of technique fascinates you, I highly recommend reading further, it is a very illuminating area of study.
Page 1 and 2:
Chapter 1 - Why The Study Of Body L
Page 3 and 4:
Looking Askance And Eye Rolling Ste
Page 5 and 6:
The Stiff Or Curved Arm Objects As
Page 7 and 8:
The Male Crotch Display Eliminating
Page 9 and 10:
How To Accurately Read Lies Comfort
Page 11 and 12:
Head down with hand to mouth is a
Page 13 and 14:
publish it through the www.BodyLang
Page 15 and 16:
Page 17 and 18:
Itchy nose or does this mean someth
Page 19 and 20:
and then relate the body language s
Page 21 and 22:
people’s natural desires to pleas
Page 23 and 24:
Page 25 and 26:
mind and create positive or negativ
Page 27 and 28:
to the world around us, and the sti
Page 29 and 30:
pulled across the mouth, but the mu
Page 31 and 32:
after years apart, or when someone
Page 33 and 34:
these class of neurons might be rel
Page 35 and 36:
Page 37 and 38:
keep the conversation going. They
Page 39 and 40:
Subconscious facial expressions can
Page 41 and 42:
Page 43 and 44:
arricades to block ourselves from v
Page 45 and 46:
Chapter 2 - The Basics Of Understan
Page 47 and 48:
accurately judge a person. The rule
Page 49 and 50:
Page 51 and 52:
We regularly place more importance
Page 53 and 54:
statements that are taken out of co
Page 55 and 56:
on the spot, and in real time. Chap
Page 57 and 58:
idiosyncrasy. Does this mean that e
Page 59 and 60:
to be compare to a baseline as they
Page 61 and 62:
such as postures and signals or in
Page 63 and 64:
than simple observation. While Wats
Page 65 and 66:
Millions of years ago, we gave up q
Page 67 and 68:
fact there is a class of body langu
Page 69 and 70:
speak, by observation and practice.
Page 71 and 72:
Body language makes the intent of a
Page 73 and 74:
We rarely catch women checking men
Page 75 and 76:
Page 77 and 78:
Page 79 and 80:
Page 81 and 82:
Page 83 and 84:
Asymmetrical posture shows a lack o
Page 85 and 86:
4. Keep your midsection tight to as
Page 87 and 88:
kissing, back slapping, high fives,
Page 89 and 90:
that create relief. Someone that is
Page 91 and 92:
exercise except in this case the en
Page 93 and 94:
especially as the evening progresse
Page 95 and 96:
when people suffer from illness per
Page 97 and 98:
Much debate has been raised about t
Page 99 and 100:
present, the Japanese more than the
Page 101 and 102:
Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Em
Page 103 and 104:
This “a-okay” gesture means goo
Page 105 and 106:
Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Il
Page 107 and 108:
Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Af
Page 109 and 110:
Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Re
Page 111 and 112:
Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Ad
Page 113 and 114:
characteristics. It is general in n
Page 115 and 116:
of the speech during conversation.
Page 117 and 118:
Chapter 3 - Cultural Differences Cu
Page 119 and 120:
Disgust.
Page 121 and 122:
into facial emotion recognition and
Page 123 and 124:
ecome more uniform, so too does the
Page 125 and 126:
The handshake is quickly becoming t
Page 127 and 128:
Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Int
Page 129 and 130:
Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Pro
Page 131 and 132:
An arm is extended to indicate that
Page 133 and 134:
Personal Space Distances 1. Intimat
Page 135 and 136:
wave of the hand in the country is
Page 137 and 138:
This is a comfortable body ready fo
Page 139 and 140:
Chapter 4 - Space and Territory Spa
Page 141 and 142:
e it to respect it by reading their
Page 143 and 144:
overtly show that they are being in
Page 145 and 146:
its hidden meaning. Chapter 5 - See
Page 147 and 148:
Chapter 5 - Seeing Eye To Eye - A L
Page 149 and 150:
Page 151 and 152:
Page 153 and 154:
stance causing them to drop their a
Page 155 and 156:
pocket money, looking for someone t
Page 157 and 158:
females. The men in the study were
Page 159 and 160:
preparation for action so we won’
Page 161 and 162:
A second related nonverbal behavior
Page 163 and 164:
flash it lasts on average for only
Page 165 and 166:
This interest posture is hard to mi
Page 167 and 168:
Page 169 and 170:
Page 171 and 172:
Page 173 and 174:
a good solid attempt should be made
Page 175 and 176:
their thoughts. For most right-hand
Page 177 and 178:
6) Kinesthetic Remembered (Tactile
Page 179 and 180:
words), kinesthetic (touch) and vis
Page 181 and 182:
meeting, so as to either, remedy th
Page 183 and 184:
Page 185 and 186:
negative cue done to avoid harmful
Page 187 and 188:
Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter The
Page 189 and 190:
The uneven smile. This one is a fak
Page 191 and 192:
Liars also find it difficult to smi
Page 193 and 194:
Research on smiles has been a hot t
Page 195 and 196:
Chimpanzees, like humans have two c
Page 197 and 198:
our faces a break. We know instinct
Page 199 and 200:
“Wipe that grin off your face”.
Page 201 and 202:
egardless of their emotional state.
Page 203 and 204:
is why it is important to surround
Page 205 and 206:
Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter Is
Page 207 and 208:
fun of a sprinter for being slow, i
Page 209 and 210:
Chapter 6 - Smiles and Laughter Sum
Page 211 and 212:
determine the thoughts, feelings an
Page 213 and 214:
obstruction from any limbs or objec
Page 215 and 216:
His ventral display says that he’
Page 217 and 218:
Chapter 7 - Opened Mind Opened Body
Page 219 and 220:
Wrists displays shows comfort. I th
Page 221 and 222:
Pockets make great hand-hiding plac
Page 223 and 224:
parties hands might graduate away.
Page 225 and 226:
something. Rubbing the hands togeth
Page 227 and 228:
The “politicians gesture” comes
Page 229 and 230:
The “offerer” wants to give you
Page 231 and 232:
Any time a part of the body crosses
Page 233 and 234:
An abbreviated arm cross where the
Page 235 and 236:
The coffee cup barrier - even drink
Page 237 and 238:
Cutting off ventral access is a clo
Page 239 and 240:
Good things are not on the horizon.
Page 241 and 242:
up it would be worthwhile to contin
Page 243 and 244:
The legs therefore, are a great ind
Page 245 and 246:
Women with legs open are often seen
Page 247 and 248:
their legs as a dominance display a
Page 249 and 250:
seated or standing. While seated th
Page 251 and 252:
palm down, as if to dry them, and y
Page 253 and 254:
disagreement at every turn. The fig
Page 255 and 256:
posture occurs by placing one or bo
Page 257 and 258:
Page 259 and 260:
Page 261 and 262:
we are already committed, our feet
Page 263 and 264:
_______ Feet together - attentive.
Page 265 and 266:
If one person fails to open up, usu
Page 267 and 268:
Page 269 and 270:
Page 271 and 272:
In this chapter we will cover an en
Page 273 and 274:
There are cues that can eliminate,
Page 275 and 276:
includes submissive gestures so som
Page 277 and 278:
een noted that taller men are signi
Page 279 and 280:
This cop knows his game. By keeping
Page 281 and 282:
Chapter 8 - Dominant and Submissive
Page 283 and 284:
verbal language. Let’s take anoth
Page 285 and 286:
Page 287 and 288:
Page 289 and 290:
Page 291 and 292:
at all since all you stand to lose
Page 293 and 294:
we saw before, the figure-four-leg
Page 295 and 296:
might foster mirroring where they m
Page 297 and 298:
the body take up more space and hen
Page 299 and 300:
very pronounced compared to many ot
Page 301 and 302:
downwards towards the crotch. Popul
Page 303 and 304:
A challenge to fight - the chin pop
Page 305 and 306:
Page 307 and 308:
superiority and royalty has made th
Page 309 and 310:
space, leaning on their cars, putti
Page 311 and 312:
onds. Dominant people figure that w
Page 313 and 314:
Further research shows that justifi
Page 315 and 316:
oth be made more healthy just by sh
Page 317 and 318:
Page 319 and 320:
can link them in our minds, yet kee
Page 321 and 322:
Hugging one’s self is a defensive
Page 323 and 324:
elbow in the hand while that arm is
Page 325 and 326:
Arm gripping is a sign that someone
Page 327 and 328:
eadiness to attack. It can also be
Page 329 and 330:
A purse can be used as a shield to
Page 331 and 332:
higher than a few inches, or the ha
Page 333 and 334:
The chair is a prop used to shield
Page 335 and 336:
conditions, so we might benefit fro
Page 337 and 338:
Chapter 9 -Defensive And Aggressive
Page 339 and 340:
Page 341 and 342:
Fists clenching is an early sign of
Page 343 and 344:
Nose flaring or “nasal wing dilat
Page 345 and 346:
Page 347 and 348:
This isn’t going well - she looks
Page 349 and 350:
Page 351 and 352:
Chapter 10 - Attentive And Evaluati
Page 353 and 354:
Page 355 and 356:
A slouched appearance is a clear me
Page 357 and 358:
Page 359 and 360:
Page 361 and 362:
cartoons. The cliché says that the
Page 363 and 364:
is disliked. However, there is anot
Page 365 and 366:
the glasses signifies deep thought.
Page 367 and 368:
form a bridge. In this posture fing
Page 369 and 370:
interlocked hands as if praying but
Page 371 and 372:
one’s self back” as one might d
Page 373 and 374:
Pinching the bridge of the nose. Ch
Page 375 and 376:
emotions we talk about what motivat
Page 377 and 378:
Burying yourself in a book or liste
Page 379 and 380:
smoothing clothing, rotating a wedd
Page 381 and 382:
The fight or flight response is a b
Page 383 and 384:
Chapter 11 - Emotional Body Languag
Page 385 and 386:
Extreme anxiety causes the desire t
Page 387 and 388:
Clenching and gripping can have man
Page 389 and 390:
A hand-to-mouth gesture used to pla
Page 391 and 392:
Tugging at the ears helps distract
Page 393 and 394:
is also in effort to self sooth. Wi
Page 395 and 396: indicate confrontation due to anger
Page 397 and 398: as the fingers stroke the inside of
Page 399 and 400: need to mouth it, and yet it, so as
Page 401 and 402: When the mouth becomes inverted in
Page 403 and 404: Pushing the tongue through compress
Page 405 and 406: Sneering often happens as a microex
Page 407 and 408: The ear grab refers to a subconscio
Page 409 and 410: Chapter 11 - Emotional Body Languag
Page 415 and 416: Itchy nose or does this mean someth
Page 419 and 420: aggressive with their gestures and
Page 421 and 422: These legs are interested - note ho
Page 423 and 424: where the toe is facing down, but t
Page 425 and 426: useful skill in reading people. Bei
Page 427 and 428: Happiness. Happiness (smile): The g
Page 429 and 430: __________ Ever thought about why o
Page 437 and 438: would identify the policemen as par
Page 439 and 440: mimicry of postures, mannerisms, fa
Page 441 and 442: [D] Keeping the legs uncrossed. [E]
Page 443 and 444: an imagined negotiation scenario wh
Page 445: loose situation where one person wi
Page 449 and 450: Chapter 12 - Mirroring And Building
Page 451 and 452: undetected lest it cause irreversib
Page 453 and 454: although it can be helpful to women
Page 455 and 456: Some men are naturals - the rest of
Page 457 and 458: ‘Accidental touching’ is a subt
Page 459 and 460: Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals The
Page 461 and 462: Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals She
Page 463 and 464: The “hands on hips” or hands
Page 465 and 466: Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Tibi
Page 467 and 468: The Forehead Bow, Smiling And Child
Page 469 and 470: Tickling and other play related act
Page 471 and 472: Shoulder shrugs make the outline of
Page 473 and 474: parts aren’t inherently sexy on t
Page 475 and 476: Hair tossing is done by women to sh
Page 477 and 478: also tend to carry low hip-to-waist
Page 479 and 480: Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Groo
Page 481 and 482: Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals The
Page 483 and 484: Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Hiki
Page 485 and 486: correlate it back to their fertilit
Page 487 and 488: good signal of attraction. Sometime
Page 489 and 490: Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Echo
Page 491 and 492: Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Kiss
Page 493 and 494: dropper here and there with regards
Page 495 and 496: If this sort of tactic makes you un
Page 497 and 498:
Women prefer men with square jaws a
Page 499 and 500:
features and “dance” for them.
Page 501 and 502:
There are a few postures that men u
Page 503 and 504:
effectively to attract his attentio
Page 505 and 506:
Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Domi
Page 507 and 508:
the same position for too long. Rat
Page 509 and 510:
Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Tona
Page 511 and 512:
Even stone faced women can be broke
Page 513 and 514:
the mating dance, men can see these
Page 515 and 516:
Hand touches shoulder. This form of
Page 517 and 518:
Chapter 13 - Courtship Signals Summ
Page 519 and 520:
customer and should be respected. T
Page 521 and 522:
expect it. Anyone lower in the food
Page 523 and 524:
they are doing when they shake hand
Page 525 and 526:
normal. Three pumps is recommended
Page 527 and 528:
Chapter 14 - Office Body Language H
Page 529 and 530:
Chapter 14 - Office Body Language L
Page 531 and 532:
Chapter 14 - Office Body Language H
Page 533 and 534:
Chapter 14 - Office Body Language W
Page 535 and 536:
Chapter 14 - Office Body Language R
Page 537 and 538:
sit because, and what affect seatin
Page 539 and 540:
Boardrooms present an interesting p
Page 541 and 542:
Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements C
Page 543 and 544:
are already a part of your team and
Page 545 and 546:
ooks, papers and other belongings t
Page 547 and 548:
Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements S
Page 549 and 550:
Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements S
Page 551 and 552:
Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements C
Page 553 and 554:
was the trickle down effect where t
Page 555 and 556:
Chapter 15 - Seating Arrangements O
Page 557 and 558:
A low rank desk arrangement because
Page 559 and 560:
alance between looking out the wind
Page 561 and 562:
He’s already a bit taller than me
Page 563 and 564:
eceiving a D or F from twenty-three
Page 565 and 566:
Touching the nose has long been use
Page 567 and 568:
question “Does this dress make me
Page 569 and 570:
Chapter 16 - Deception and Lie Dete
Page 571 and 572:
while lying was taking place. For e
Page 573 and 574:
create facts instead of simply reca
Page 575 and 576:
One of the most reported cues of de
Page 577 and 578:
To avoid detection, under the ‘fr
Page 579 and 580:
catcher braced and ducked with his
Page 581 and 582:
Page 583 and 584:
Page 585 and 586:
ecognition software that reads all
Page 587 and 588:
__________ False smile: Where the e
Page 589 and 590:
Page 591 and 592:
Page 593 and 594:
Page 595 and 596:
Page 597 and 598:
Page 599 and 600:
Page 601 and 602:
Page 603 and 604:
Page 605 and 606:
Page 607 and 608:
Page 609 and 610:
Such devices are new and their effe
Page 611 and 612:
Page 613 and 614:
Page 615 and 616:
denial statements such as nodding
Page 617 and 618:
level of guilt. 4. If possible have
Page 619 and 620:
info. This is public info after the
Page 621 and 622:
Evolution and Human Behavior. 27(1)
Page 623 and 624:
Communication Research. 13 (3): 345
Page 625 and 626:
21(4): 1-10. Frank M.G. and Ekman P
Page 627 and 628:
Hecht, M.A. and LaFrance, M. 1988.
Page 629 and 630:
Knackstedt, G., & Kleinke, C. L. (1
Page 631 and 632:
exploring the accuracy of visitor a
Page 633 and 634:
Peluchette, J. V., K. Karl, and K.
Page 635 and 636:
Sommer, R. 1967. Socifugal space. A
Page 637 and 638:
nonverbal behavior. 21: 87-102. Vri
show all

The Ultimate Body Language Book

You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles

Delete template?

Save as template?